How do I know? What am I doing wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2006
How do I know? What am I doing wrong?
Tue, 07-25-2006 - 5:48pm

I was married for 12 years and have been separated/divorced for 11/2. When I left I was very depressed, hid under large clothes & hats & was 200lbs-size 20. Now I wear makeup(most of the time), dress in my size, go out (mostly to the local pub) and am a size 7. I write as a hobby and participate in an online workshopping site & have a myspace.

I get a lot more attention now. I am looking for a guy who is a buddy that will go to ballgames & movies, shoot pool and do outdoor activities. I want him to be respectful enough to ask me on a date not try to literally get into my pants on a chance meeting, walk me home (i live in an urban area where muggings do occur)-give me some disrespectful line (maybe try to grab me) to get into my apartment and eventually be a monogamous lover. Or try to get me to participate in cybersex.

I know that I must be missing something and sending out the wrong signals. I'm still not confident enough go places by myself and don't have any girlfriends. What do I do? How does this work? Is this too much to ask?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Tue, 07-25-2006 - 8:37pm

My suggestion would be to keep on doing what you're doing. :) Get out there! Join groups! Meet people! Stay busy!

I have also heard really good things about In fact, I have friends who married off it! Now, I know you're not looking for THAT big of a commitment at the moment, but maybe w/ a dating service, you can find the same thing you're looking for? It's tough! A friend warned me "casual dating means you must accept casual sex". To me those are 2 VERY different things!!!!

- J

- J. Darling

Singe, Songwriter, Author for Celebr

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 5:10pm

I think that you're on the right track.... stay involved in activities that put you in front of faces.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~