how soon is too soon for relationship 'labels'?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2005
how soon is too soon for relationship 'labels'?
Sat, 02-26-2011 - 9:01pm
five years ago (more or less), i began talking to a guy i met on myspace. it was always innoceint. we used to toss around the idea of meeting, but the timing was never good. i wasn't sure i wanted to meet somone from myspace, or endure a long-distance relationship where i'm from north jersey and he's from queens, ny. then he got a girlfriend and i got a boyfriend, but we remained pen pals via facebook. i broke up with my boyfriend nearly two years ago and he broke up wit his girl a year ago.
recently, he and were chatting online. i had thanked him for a compliment on a recent photo of myself (post bariatric banding surgery after loosing thirty pounds) and we reopened the five year old ide of meeting, only this time for a date and to see wherethings go between us.
we planned for a daytime date. we talked every day that week before. we already had known about many of our common interests; music being the bigest one of them, since we love the same genra and some of the same artists. but it was nice to learn of new common interests that we share.
when we met, we had a nice afternoon together. he wanted to kiss me that day, but i wouldnt let him yet. i didnt want to rush anyting, and i came down with a cold that day.
afterward, he said he really felt a connection with me that day and we planned to see each other again the following week. we continued to talk every day and he continued to tell me that he knows it will work between us and that he can't wait until we are a couple.
so, on friday i visited him in queens for our second day-time date. he took me out for lunch, baugt me a book at barnes and nobel, and then went to his house to watch a movie. (the movie was zach and miri make a porno. i had never seen it, and it's hysterical!) the whole time we were were watching, all he did was wrap his arms around me. i was very aware of how close our faces were and i knew we both wanted to kiss very badly, but he respected me enough not to! i am still blown away by his amount of restraint, understanding, and curtesy...especially because we were lying on his bed during the movie! our next date will be tis wednesday afternoon/evening. he wants to ask me to be his girlfriend. i know this for a fact because he keeps telling me. he is plannin something very nice to make the evening special, to make me wnat to be his girlfriend oficially, which i very much want to be. i am twenty seven and he is twenty five and it has been five years of chatting and emailing, which has already helped in making my decision easier. my question to all of you is, will this wednesday be too soon in calling ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend?
thanks for any advice.
~ almost girlfriend * newfound heart
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006

What's the rush? I'm thinking you could just keep dating and see where it goes. Personally, I think the girlfriend/boyfriend label is more for when you start having sex (exclusively, of course). And I would definitely take some time before becoming intimate until you feel really comfortable with one another. There's no need to rush into things, even if you have had a cyber relationship for five years, you're still getting to know each other.

Best of luck and congratulations on your weight loss.