How Would you all Take This????

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2006
How Would you all Take This????
5
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 1:53pm

Ok everyone,

I have kind of a stupid question… I just need a little advice on how you would all take something that happened to me today…

I met a guy on match.com a few days ago. We exchanged a couple of emails on there, then it went to IM's on aol, then to the phone where we had an awesome 2 hour conversation. He called me the next day and we spoke for a bit again (yesterday).

Let me give a bit of background to help you all understand the story first. I am 29, he is 36. He works as a limo driver. We live about 1/2 hour apart.

Ok, so he calls me yesterday and says "I know it's short notice, but I was wondering what you're doing tonight because my boss called and said my pickup cancelled.. Would you want to go meet?" I had a nice convo with him and wanted to meet him so I said "sure" and we made up a time to meet and we met. There was instant attraction, he told me I looked better in person and I could just tell he liked me and I was very happy with what I saw too. He also was very funny and had me laughing all night long. The only thing with him was if I let him, he would've had sex with me last night. We kissed and fooled around a little bit, we did a few things, but I was NOT going to sleep with him on the first date. So anyway, we hung out until 2am (we met up around 8:30-9pm). He said he would definitely be calling me and not to make any plans for Saturday because he wanted to see me again. He also called me when I got home at 2 just to make sure I made it home ok. Now here's where my question lies….

He said he was going to call me today during my lunch hour. So 12:40 comes and he calls. I pick up my phone and it was very bad connection and he was driving. He says "ok, I'm just calling you to say hi because I told you I would"… I thought that was a little rude. Then I think he asked me when I get home and I told him 4pm and his phone cut out. I called him back and got nothing. So I waited and tried one last time because I really didn’t hear anything he said before, and he picks up and says in a hushed voice "I'm driving someone home, that's why I can't talk, plus I'm in a bad area and it would be nice if I could hear you and its very frustrating, I'll call you at 4 and he sounded like he was about to hang up on me or something. He just sounded pissy and cold and I am really upset now because I don’t know what to think. Is this guy really an a**hole who was just trying to put up a front to try and get in my pants last night and when he didn’t now he's going to be a nasty a**?? Or was he just working and unable to talk?? I don’t know whether to give him the benefit of the doubt or not. I don’t even know now if he'll really even call me later because he sounded kind of irritated at me for calling him back when he couldn't talk. I know this sounds immature to write about, but the thing is I was very hurt in the past and I'm sometimes a little too analytical and careful, plus I took a year off from dating, so I'm not used to how to handle dating things.

Please help, need opinions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 2:52pm
My impression from reading your post is he was definitely working and unable to talk. I would certainly give him another chance/give it a little more time and see how things go. You liked the guy and were attracted to him - and you said he seemed to dig you too. Do you know how difficult that is to find??????????????? I'm sure you do. Keep us posted ... love Fzz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 5:20pm

I would chalk it up to him working and being in a bad area.... however.... why didn't he just say, "if I get a chance tomorrow during your lunch time, I'll give you a buzz, but if I'm with a client I'll probably wait and call you later.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 9:46am

Hushed voice? That should be the first clue. Are you sure he wasn't with another woman and didn't want "her" to know he was talking to you? Regardless of who he was "driving home", it shouldn't have mattered. Apparently the connection wasn't too bad if YOU heard every word he said. I'd be kind of leery if it were me.

Jeanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 1:36pm

Okay so this is what I think:

First of all, men are men and sadly they do think about sex most of the time. Even if he is a good guy I'm sure he was thinking about the sex the whole time. That's just men. But if he is a decent guy he should also know when to make a move and when to just leave it alone. If he seemed a little pushy about the touchy-feely part then I would drop him.

Second of all, about the call, I'm not sure about that part. I don't think you should get so worked up about it. He has given you no reason not to trust him yet so just let it slide. Maybe he was having a bad day or something. I mean you don't really know the circumstances of who was with him or what was going on.

So all in all, if he wasn't a pushover about sex and you like him, give him one more chance. Go out with him, and if he still seems like an ass to you then drop him for good and move on.

Hope this helps....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 2:10am
Dating can be daunting. Try not to get worked up so soon after meeting a guy. It's tough at times, especially when one gets so lonely. But try not to get worked up so quickly. Many people go online just to date without any exclusivity.
If a guy is interested then he will call you. A busy man will call and be respectful toward you IF he really likes you. If he does not or if he calls and gives a lukewarm reception to your "hi," then let it go. I had guys call me with such a tone, and I knew it was just a waste of my time.
Trust your instincts too. They are there for a reason.