I knew that he was bad news...but now I'm just confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2011
I knew that he was bad news...but now I'm just confused.
13
Thu, 04-07-2011 - 1:41am

Thank you for your advice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

It's really hard to guess what's in someone else's mind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
I don't think that the fact that he is trying for more physical intimacy necessarily means that he only wants you for sex. It's pretty normal for a guy to really like you and really want to get his hands on you at the same time. I'm with musiclover12. The only way to find out is to keep going out with him but make him take things slow physically. I'd even just *tell* him that you want to take things slow because you like him, but you don't want to get hurt. If he's really just trying to get laid he won't stick around forever. If he likes you then he'll want to prove it to you, and he'll wait (though that doesn't necessarily mean he'll stop trying to be physical with you in the meantime). It sounds like you like him, and from what you've said my gut reaction is that he's not just playing you. I'd go with musiclover12's advice here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2011

Thanks so much for the advice.

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004

The guy wants you for sex only!

He wanted to skip the food, the 'date' portion of your get together, and get straight to the physical stuff. Only after you threatened to pull the plug on the whole evening did he suddenly seem agreeable to the food and the date night out. But of course he got there too late. Probably also planned so that you would be agreeable to just staying home and there would be time and opportunity for the physical.

If you started pushing for real dates, like dinner and then saying goodnite after, he would lose interest fast.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

Hi

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I have to agree that he's primarily interested in you as a conquest and when he finally gets sex, he'll probably drop you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2011

Thank

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004

Yes the polite way to end this is to tell him in some way. I think text is maybe too informal. So I would choose email or call him. You don't even have to say your true reasons and actually your true reasons are mostly that the guy seems to only want one thing, and I don't think you are going to say that to him. So just say either that you don't think you should see each other anymore or what I think is a better option, say that you are not interested in seeing him because you are concentrating on dating another person. If you do call and tell him this in real time, don't allow yourself to get sucked into come conversation where he is trying to get another chance with you. Just say what you have to say and then say thank you and goodbye. You two were not exclusive so it is totally plausuble that either of you could have been dating others all along.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2011

I'm not certain if I will be clarifying things or bringing more confusion.

According to Hammurabi code "If a man take a woman to wife, but have no intercourse with her, this woman is no wife to him. "

It's way to complicated. If you like him, sleep with him.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
He has not taken you out on a date and shows up at 9 pm? Plus you opened up your post as "I knew he was bad news ..." LISTEN TO YOUR OWN INNER WISDOM!
Move on.

Mark

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