i thought he was the one but he's not...
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| Fri, 08-15-2008 - 4:46pm |
hello...i have been an emotional disaster for three months since me and my ex broke up three months ago. i have been clinging onto the hope that we would get back together. but last night we spoke and he told me that he is moving on and that he doesn't think we should see or speak to each other anymore so that we can heal. i'm devestated. i feel that i need to meet someone else. i'm 30 years old and i know that is not old at all, but i FEEL old. for some reason i feel like he was my last chance at happiness. i haven't met anyone since we broke up. i just feel old and tired but i want to get back out there so that this feeling stops.
i think part of hte reason my ex is so OK (we were together for three years!! he got over it in THREE MONTHS!!) is because he must be dating and sleepign around. it makes me sick.
i want to feel sexy and desirable again too. i need help with my confidence. struggling here after the feeling of rejection from this breakup.
how do i get back out there?
any advice?

To ME it sounds like you are not at all ready to be moving on and dating, especially after three months. I think you need to wokr on your feelings and on geting past this relationship before moving into the dating world. I think posting over in the "Breaking up is Hard to Do" forum would be more helpful to you, since you're not ready yet to start dating. If you're still hung up and hurting from your last relationship, then you're not going to have much to offer someone new, emotionally.
I also was in a three year relationship, which ended suddenly and despite the obvious issues, was very happy in. We have been broken up for over a year and he is actually engaged to someone else, despite the fact the big reason we broke up was because he didn't believe in marriage and never wanted to get married to anyone, ever.
I'm sorry to hear you are having such a hard time.
Sorry for your breakup.
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OK, you have to get it out of your mind that he was your "last chance" and you will be alone forever.
You need to read John Gray's book. It's like talking to a friend. He is gentle and caring and everything is very careful written. You don't want to feel so bad and you want to understand and his book with help you, I promise. We were together 3 years too and just months later he was doing the same thing yours is doing to you. Exactly the same. I'm on anti-depressants now, after over a year of struggling to get out of bed and just function. And I am so much better for it. It wasn't just the break up that made me depressed, it is alot of things in my life right now, but the break up is my main source of unhappiness.