I Want to Do This Right... Help Please!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2006
I Want to Do This Right... Help Please!!
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 1:02pm

Hi everyone,

Ok, I need your opinion on what "step 2" should be… I went out and met this guy last night that I met on match.com. We've been chatting here and there online and then spoke a couple of times on the phone. Finally, he said "we should meet" and last night we did. We met at the local mall and walked around for about 2 hours, just talking. He seemed like a very nice very MATURE guy (he's 26 and i'm 29, so i'm a little hesitant about dating a younger guy. He has a sister, MARRIED parents (he seems to come from a very stable home, he always talks about them and how close they are) But anyway, we met up, and walked around the mall from 7:30 till it closed at 9:30. We were sitting on a bench talking and I said "what time is it?" and he said 9pm and I was stunned how fast it went. Anyway, we went back to our cars and were doing the whole "goodbye talk" thing, and finally he gave me a hug and he was all red and he said "well it was very nice meeting you, maybe we could get together again sometime" - he said it kind of like asking me and I said yes but I had the idea that maybe I kind of sounded like I was just saying it to say it, you know?? Like maybe I didn’t sound like I really wanted to. So anyway, we left and about an hour after I got home, I signed on to my computer to check my mail and there he was. I didn't IM him right away, and then at the exact same time we IM'd each other. He wrote "hey girl" and I wrote "so how's your leg" (he hurt his leg the day before in a softball game). We chatted for a while and I was kind of digging for him to ask me to hang out again, but he didn't. I even said, "well I had a very nice time, thank you again" and he said "yes, me too, I felt very comfortable with you". He told me he thought I thought he was weird and I said no not at all, but he still didn't ask me to hang again. So I left it alone. I said "ok, well I'm gonna go relax and watch some tv, I'll ttyl" and that was it. So in the parking lot it sounded like he wanted to get together again, and he IM'd me on the computer, but yet he didn't ask me to hang out again. What do you make of it?? God I hate this whole dating thing… My thought is I should just back off now that I let him know I'm interested because I don’t wanna sound pushy and desperate, so I'll keep saying hi online if he says hi, but I'm not gonna go out of my way to talk to him. Thoughts??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 1:26pm

"My thought is I should just back off now that I let him know I'm interested"

I agree with you on this one. You have nicely and tastefully expressed how much you enjoyed his company. If he does not respond well, then it is all for the best. Just be careful. Men like to pursue. The inkling of desperation from anyone is not desirable at all. Sadly men may do this with many women instead of just one in particular. I, too, have been on Match, and I know what it's like to feel everything you're going through right now. Trust your instincts :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 11:02pm
I agree... back off and see what happens.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~