It's My Birthday, I'll Cry If I Want To

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
It's My Birthday, I'll Cry If I Want To
27
Sun, 11-15-2009 - 11:53am

I'm putting this out there for several reasons, first because writing it down always helps. Second, it's another cautionary tale, I suppose, you know, where you feel generous and giving and at the same time, you're trying to make up your mind about the guy.


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Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006

You go with that red party dress.

I can't help it: that stomach flu thing sounds like a lie to me. And you're right: it is ultimately how you feel in your heart.

It just makes we wonder about the next guy who comes along for me "Will it be difficult, or will it just fall into place without these sorts of snafus and misunderstandings? Is it supposed to fall into place, or is that just a fantasy?" Right now I'm still putting my trust in how I really feel in my heart. I think our hearts really get it right, it's our heads that mess it up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Happy Birthday. I'm glad you ended up having some fun.

I don't know--maybe the guy got nervous cause you mentioned your BD and that you wanted to be w/ him, like that implied that next week you would have to get married or something. Or that he would have to buy you a gift & he couldn't handle it. I do think that if he was genuinely sick, he could have said "Oh, I'm not feeling well, so this weekend is really out, but I can make up for it by taking you out next weekend. I hope you don't mind." Also, if I'm terribly sick, I don't go to my friend's house, esp. where there are kids, to spread all my germs to their family. I would just stay home & stay in bed. That does sound strange to me. And asking you to nurse him on YOUR BD? Not!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009

"I think our hearts really get it right, it's our heads that mess it up."

That may be true but we're human. We give 'em a chance. The key is to have an expectation of respect. I saw a few things there, thought about calling him on the not-so-nice telephone conversation, for example, when he greeted me with "Why are you calling me?"

I didn't because who wants to call someone out on every little thing? I ain't his mom.

And there you have it. WHEN to confront a man--nicely, of course. Do you confront or pull back and let him figure it out. Can be a tough call.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009


"...the guy got nervous cause you mentioned your BD and that you wanted to be w/ him, like that implied that next week you would have to get married or something."

Yes, too funny, but you don't know that I'm a lousy caretaker.

Only that when you're in the right place with someone, it's a different story.

Anyway, I made it clear I didn't want a gift.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2009

I think that Petulia's sister really pointed to the

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008

Happy Belated Birthday! ;)


I'm glad you went out and enjoyed yourself.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 11-16-2009 - 10:11am
I guess this year the swine flu epidemic will give people another convenient excuse, cause who wants to be around someone to catch that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2009
Mon, 11-16-2009 - 10:22am

Happy Birthday!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2009
Mon, 11-16-2009 - 10:58am

Petulia,


I'm afraid to say I feel you're wasting your time with this man - and that's before the 'I was too sick to come out for your b-day but not too sick to drive an hour to see a woman friend' - Sorry but I honestly have never heard anything so

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2008
Mon, 11-16-2009 - 12:04pm

Well, there certainly seems to be a clear theme here, and we are all

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