It's My Birthday, I'll Cry If I Want To

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
It's My Birthday, I'll Cry If I Want To
27
Sun, 11-15-2009 - 11:53am

I'm putting this out there for several reasons, first because writing it down always helps. Second, it's another cautionary tale, I suppose, you know, where you feel generous and giving and at the same time, you're trying to make up your mind about the guy.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009

I'm afraid to say I feel you're wasting your time with this man - and that's before the 'I was too sick to come out for your b-day but not too sick to drive an hour to see a woman friend'


Thanks, Glammygloth, but do not feel bad on my account. I was done with him the day I posted. Plus, with the pouting (or maybe he's pis%ed) he made it so easy--the real boy behind the man-facade popped through.


Wow, I want to thank everyone for the support. One thing I do know on this board is that posters are honest. What's the point of pouring your heart out if you don't get honesty back? I thought for a bit that I was selfish--and if I was selfish, it was good, healthy selfish.


I have a little plan, will let you all know later on!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2009

What's your plan? Am curious now!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009

OK, here's what I did. First, here's my introduction:


Geez. You’ve never read anything I’ve written. And you mentioned several times how much you actually enjoy being wrong because it’s a learning, growing experience. So, in the interest of building a better Bob, I offer a sample of my writing. It’s a quick read.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
The pen truly is mightier than the sword. Touche.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2009
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 11:28am

Good. It won't change how he feels but hopefully it's made you feel better.


Has he responded??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2008

Sometimes you just have to speak your mind, and set the record straight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2001


Here's his response:

"You should stick to writing, but, give up the medical diagnosis. And you are wrong about 90% of the other sfuff. What a waste"

I know he's mad.

I don't know what he's talking about, though.

Of course, I didn't respond.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2008
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 10:38am

Yes, I'd say he's mad too!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 11:39am

But just maybe he will think twice about this type of behavior next time he dates another woman.

I doubt it. People who are self-centered rarely see that they are wrong, so he'll continue to blame it all on Petulia, continue to have unsatisfying relationships w/ women, and wonder why all the women are crazy, since he's such a good catch! lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008

I haven't been on in a few days, so I am sorry I am chiming in so late.

We're we dating the same guy? The guy I was moaning about a couple of weeks ago pulled the old "stomach flu" routine. We hadn't been able to see each other for two weeks (prior to that, once or twice a week, confirmed in advance), then he only gives me the heads up the morning we are supposed to meet. Never mind that he ignored my confirming plans text from the night before (there had been a choice of activities).

I had suggested going to see him, make him a cup of tea, leave. He declined the offer, saying "I don't know you well enough to just sit there watching TV..." Never mind the fact that we had SLEPT TOGETHER.

He ignored my text the next day. Finally I sent a poison pen letter on Wednesday, saying I felt he was treating me in a really disrespectful way, and I was shocked at this behavior, seeing as he had always been so kind to me. He responded, talked about issues with his ex, needing to be more protective of his kids, saying he most definitely respected me.

Then I heard nothing until a brief phone call on Friday. Very chatty, no "break up" talk, he sent me a couple of texts that night, telling me what he did with his kids.

Now it's Thursday. Haven't heard a word since. Funny thing was, a month ago he made this HUGE fuss over wanting to take me to the opera. He got tickets, described all the great things we were going to do...walk around the city, go for dinner...He said he hoped I didn't think it presumptuous that he asked me out a month in advance.

Well, tomorrow is opera night...I, in the meantime, am still going into the city, but I am meeting a friend from high school I haven't seen in years.

I hope he enjoys the opera with whomever he's taking.

OK, now back to you. Pouting men stink. And I don't know who said it, but some guys are really smooth. The talk the talk...for a while, until they can't sustain it any more. Then you are left wondering what the hell happened.

Some men seem to go into dating with the idea that it will be totally on their terms. There is no give and take. Again, I say, if I woman was behaving this way with you, you wouldn't give her the time of day. We all need to remember to do this with men, too.