kinda sad, kinda mad
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| Wed, 07-15-2009 - 9:07am |
Had a great first date with a guy on Friday, he touched base Saturday, we spent the day together on Sunday...but at the end he didn't ask me out again. Two e-mails on Monday, telling me what he did with the rest of the day on Sunday, responding to something I said in the other...nothing Tuesday, nothing today.
But he was on Match an hour ago.
So do I think, "He's over me" or do I give him the benefit of the doubt (He's answering mail...)
What makes me mad is that he was very kind, very specific in his stating of what he was looking for, and HE actually kept extending the date on Sunday by suggesting we keep doing things together, whereas I was ready to leave several times (just thinking it was the appropriate thing to do, not because I wasn't into it), and then nothing.
I don't know if I should send him a quick e-mail asking what's up or just leave it be. On the one hand, I HATE game playing, I prefer people just say what is on their minds and move on, but on the other hand, I realize this is all a game.

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Ok, I'm guessing that you still haven't heard from him, is that right?
Then I think you're safe to say that he has ghosted...my point was more than on Wednesday, I didn't think that was necessarily the case.
I did hear back from him, several texts on Wednesday and Thursday, all rather chatty, his high school reunion was this weekend and all his old friends were blowing into town. Late text Thursday night "chatting" about something he was watching on TV. Apologized for going MIA. But no request for a date, and I haven't heard boo since then.
I know what you mean, and I am certainly not looking for a commitment after just a couple of dates.
But I was really thinking about it today, and I seem to think that we, as women, tend to give each other conflicting advice. And a lot of it.
For instance, some say date others/many until you find "the one". Others on this board think that if you date more than one at a time you are kind of loose.
Some think you should never, ever call a guy at the beginning, others say why not it's 2009.
We tell each other that if a guy is "into you" he will jump over hill and dale to be with you, make dates with you, actively pursue you. Then we are told that when a guy does that, he is "too" into you and it's a red flag.
Conversely, we are told that we shouldn't see a guy more than once a week or so, so if he DOESN'T call, and we start to panic because we are thinking about that advice that says if he's into us he'll call, we are told we are being needy and expecting too much.
So which is it? Somehow I think it all gets put back on the woman. We have to wait for him to call us, pursue us. If he doesn't and we feel bad, we have no right to feel bad because he might be busy, he has a life. So we wait around for him to call, because if WE call, we are the aggressor and guys don't like that, they think we're needy.
This is dumb. This is dishonesty and playing games as far as I am concerned. Just my rant for today. I think I need to go back on antidepressants.
Ah, see, he didn't disappear!
I've been burned a couple of times by blowtorchers in the past year, so I think my radar is all screwed up. Sadly, they were the only two that I had more than a few dates with, the only two who make it to "pseudo-boyfriendish" stage. And the thing was, they were fun, dynamic, hot (to me), and seemed to be really into me. Who wouldn't love that...and it followed the HJNTIY rule of "if he's into you, he'll call, make dates, blah, blah..."
My ex husband was the same way, my LT college boyfriend was the same way...sadly, this is the only type of guy I seem to pick. So if I meet someone and he doesn't act like he's falling all over me at the beginning, I think he must not be into me.
Honestly, I have never had a relationship that started off slow (one or two dates a week, one or two calls a week) so I don't know how to gauge interest in a healthy, normal way. Sort of sad, isn't it? I am sure that I have blown a thing or two by not understanding where the other person is coming from.
However, in my defense (got to soothe my ego somehow here) Mr. Last Weekend overwhelmed me with attention those first couple of days, so I got the impression it was going to continue on that way. That's why the 'silence' unnerved me.
Why can't I just buy a boyfriend? Why is this so much work? :-)
"Why can't I just buy a boyfriend?"
Hell, I'd cash in my 401K for that. ;)
LOL, this cracked me up!
Something that's worked well for me once I got the hang of it was to get into a real "observational" mode with dating.
"In "ye olden days" (like the 80's, ha ha), you met someone and focused, I think, a little more on them because the pool in front of you was rather limited. So you worked a little harder on getting to know someone because how/where are you going to meet someone else."
I would have to respectfully disagree with this.
Nww,
Condescending 'know it all' lectures aside, how's the old love life?? Considering how much you seem to (theoretically) know about the
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