I wouldn't like the feeling of "having " to kiss someone I just met. Sure there are people that you have an immediate attraction to and those are the kind of first meets that probably last for hours too, but it's unusual. If you have just met someone for coffee for an hour, I don't think any kind of passionate kissing is usually welcomed. Maybe a hug or kiss on the cheek. But I'd save the good stuff for the first real "date."
"I wouldn't like the feeling of "having " to kiss someone I just met."
No, neither did I. It wasn't exactly a sex card, but close to it. I don't think he's all that successful. He really should change his modus for operendus-ing.
He also made fun of a woman who wasn't interested. She said something about someone at her door, an excuse to get off the phone. He called her back and straightened her out. Told her he saw through her little trick.
He contacted me two months after the date. About three days ago.
He pasted a phrase from my profile in the e-mail. Something where I say, in response to what I'd do on a First Meet...
"...I'd show up smiling. Look like my photo."
To which he tacked on this: "But you don't look like your photo."
This guy is a good 40 pounds overweight, completely bald (bald don't bother me none, unless the guy in question is downright mean)and claims to work out 5 times a week.
There was a Happy Hour going on when I met him. He filled a plate with fried whatever and chowed down with gusto.
I could have replied back:
1. Unfortunately you DO look like your photo
OR
2. "work out 5 times a week" ? Gee, coulda fooled me.
I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am to read your post! I went on my first "real date" this afternoon. Now, I've been on dates before but frankly the guys were really boring (one was a fellow lawyer who only talked "shop" throughout lunch plus he was 6 yrs older than me). They've always shown real respect to me by shaking hands. That, to me, is a real sign of respecting a woman.
I've never believed in kissing on a first date myself - that's rushing into things. The date was going pretty well and then he wrecked it for me. He kept talking about how he respected women and that's why he didn't try to put his arm around me while we watched the movie (this, I actually would not have minded). So imagine my surprise when he says he'll drop me off to my car (on the other side of the mall) and instead pulls into the parking garage gets me to give him a hug (this I did not mind and felt totally ok with) and then asks for us to kiss. Well, I kinda wanted to kiss just to have that experience finally but on a first date, really? So we kissed and made out and he complains that I'm not being passionate and that he's kissing me more than I'm kissing him.
Well, what did he expect? I'm not going to kiss someone passionately that I just met! I mean, we hung out for 3 hours. I thought it would just be a coffee date at B & N. He's never kissed anyone himself according to him (seemed like it) so my guess is he was dying to finally be physical with a girl (he's also never dated). He seemed to be in a rush - wanted to get me in his backseat or in the backseat of my car! After I told him that honesty and trustworthiness are very important to me. I wonder what he thought would happen at the end of the date. He'd butter me up and say the things that I wanted to hear and then totally contradict himself? Guys can be such pigs!
Then again, I get the feeling that he feels some chemistry between us that I actually didn't (yet anyway). I didn't feel anything - how could I? We're still getting to know one another!
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"I wouldn't like the feeling of "having " to kiss someone I just met."
No, neither did I. It wasn't exactly a sex card, but close to it. I don't think he's all that successful. He really should change his modus for operendus-ing.
He also made fun of a woman who wasn't interested. She said something about someone at her door, an excuse to get off the phone. He called her back and straightened her out. Told her he saw through her little trick.
What a turn off. I'd forgotten about that part!
The guy sounds like he may be a little juvenile and shallow.
I wouldn't mind it. If I liked the guy, I'd prefer a kiss to happen sooner than later.
Which is the point of him trying, if someone liked him, they wouldn't be turned off by the thought of kissing him, first date or not.
Look, I agree.
But do you think an announcement is the best way to proceed?
You're right. I'm thinking a bugle call wouldn't even bother me if I liked the guy.
www.mylifeasadate.com
www.mylifeasadate.com
Which reminds me, there's more about this guy.
He contacted me two months after the date. About three days ago.
He pasted a phrase from my profile in the e-mail. Something where I say, in response to what I'd do on a First Meet...
"...I'd show up smiling. Look like my photo."
To which he tacked on this: "But you don't look like your photo."
This guy is a good 40 pounds overweight, completely bald (bald don't bother me none, unless the guy in question is downright mean)and claims to work out 5 times a week.
There was a Happy Hour going on when I met him. He filled a plate with fried whatever and chowed down with gusto.
I could have replied back:
1. Unfortunately you DO look like your photo
OR
2. "work out 5 times a week" ? Gee, coulda fooled me.
No, I'd never ever say any such thing.
I deleted him.
No surprise he ain't datin' much.
www.mylifeasadate.com
www.mylifeasadate.com
"...I'd show up smiling. Look like my photo."
To which he tacked on this: "But you don't look like your photo." <<<
Maybe he doesn't have that filter that tells you when not to say things. Seems it goes right from Thinking to Speaking.
Yeah, but this wasn't SPOKEN.
It was written. TWO MONTHS after I met the guy. And told him I didn't want to be kissed.
Naaaah. Not a filter thing.
It's a calculated mean thing.
I've checked with two guys I dated. Both said I look like my photo.
Ahhhhhhh, those insecurities, may they rest in peace.
www.mylifeasadate.com
www.mylifeasadate.com
I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am to read your post! I went on my first "real date" this afternoon. Now, I've been on dates before but frankly the guys were really boring (one was a fellow lawyer who only talked "shop" throughout lunch plus he was 6 yrs older than me). They've always shown real respect to me by shaking hands. That, to me, is a real sign of respecting a woman.
I've never believed in kissing on a first date myself - that's rushing into things. The date was going pretty well and then he wrecked it for me. He kept talking about how he respected women and that's why he didn't try to put his arm around me while we watched the movie (this, I actually would not have minded). So imagine my surprise when he says he'll drop me off to my car (on the other side of the mall) and instead pulls into the parking garage gets me to give him a hug (this I did not mind and felt totally ok with) and then asks for us to kiss. Well, I kinda wanted to kiss just to have that experience finally but on a first date, really? So we kissed and made out and he complains that I'm not being passionate and that he's kissing me more than I'm kissing him.
Well, what did he expect? I'm not going to kiss someone passionately that I just met! I mean, we hung out for 3 hours. I thought it would just be a coffee date at B & N. He's never kissed anyone himself according to him (seemed like it) so my guess is he was dying to finally be physical with a girl (he's also never dated). He seemed to be in a rush - wanted to get me in his backseat or in the backseat of my car! After I told him that honesty and trustworthiness are very important to me. I wonder what he thought would happen at the end of the date. He'd butter me up and say the things that I wanted to hear and then totally contradict himself? Guys can be such pigs!
Then again, I get the feeling that he feels some chemistry between us that I actually didn't (yet anyway). I didn't feel anything - how could I? We're still getting to know one another!
Is it normal to kiss after a first date?
A kiss on the first date is ok, depending upon what transpired and the chemistry you both feel as the date goes on.
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