Lastest from Last Date,What do you think

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Lastest from Last Date,What do you think
9
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 1:24am
Hi Everyone, I posted last week regarding a luncheon date with a man I met near work. The luncheon date went well which was two weeks ago Tuesday. Well he emailed me last Thursday wanting to meet me for lunch to speak a little, not an actual lunch invite date, we work across the street from each other, also he stated he wanted to see me and spend time with. I did meet him for morning break, we walked, talked, and laughed. At the end of the walk he asked me if he could see me on Sunday. Because I was concerned that he would only contact me via emails, I did tell him then that I am not a big email person and like to talk to people on the phone to get to know them, he said he understood and would call me Friday evening. He called me Friday evening at 8:45, stating that he was calling because I asked him to, we were on the phone less than 5 minutes, I personally did not even get to get into any type of conversation with him. I found it interesting that he told me he would not hurt me, to trust him, and to give him a chance; which I told him that I trusted him and was giving him a chance. Between myself at that point I had not reason not to trust him and was more than willing to give him a chance. He then said he would call me Saturday. He called around 8:00 am and again we barely talked 5 minutes ago, he griped about some family event and ended the conversation with you go your way and I will go mine - which I found interesting. He also stated he would call me that evening. The evening came and he never called. I was not able to meet him on Sunday because my son has a youth group meeting at church at the time he wanted to me and did initiate meeting him at 1:00 pm after church. Since he's so into emails, I did email him asking him to meet me at 1:00 pm and did not want to call him because I did not want to wake him up. Something deep down inside of me tells me he may be with someone right now which is why he is not able to talk and is so into emailing me, also his emails are extremely short. He did call and left a voice mail on my cell stating that he could not meet me on Sunday at 1:00 pm and would call me later, come to find out I never heard from him. At that point deep down inside my heart something told me that no, this is not right, and I should not be waiting for a man to want to spend time with me. The interesting thing is that he said Friday he all these things going on and come to find out on Monday when he call he said he did nothing, stayed home, and on Sunday people kept coming to his house. I feel as though he's lying to me. He called me during my lunch hour on Monday, I did not answer my cell nor did he leave a message, the reason I did not answer was because I wanted to see what he would say on the email. He called me back Monday evening in which I acted cordially, laughed, and made conversation so that he would not get the impression I was mad at him, which I am not, I am just not interested in him no more because I don't think he's being honest with me. Also the other thing that was wierd was that he asked me if he could ask me a personal question, I said yes, he wanted to know if I had pictures that I could email him, I found it very intersting in which this guy does not have time to make an official date or make time to get to try to know me on the phone what in the world is he going to do with my pictures. What do you all think about this? I feel as though he is not interested and I won't be calling or emailing him no more. I am hoping he got the message on Monday when I said that I had to get going to fix dinner and to have a great week. Hopefully this is the end of it. I am not into playing games with what limitied time I have to get out and date.
Sorry the post was so long.

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2008
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 6:43am

I think he is acting strangely and agree with you that he may have someone in his life already. I think you behaved perfectly. Be very cautious if you pursue it and always listen to your gut instincts. good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 8:24am


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 8:58am
Thank you all for your replies, I do agree something is fishy. I do not plan on pursuing him AT ALL. It's a done deal. I just hope he does not call me or email me anymore, if he calls I won't return the calls and if he emails I will do one last email to tell him I decided not to date right now because I have too much going on, which I do, I am very busy, a full-time mother, full-time employee, very involded with my church in volunteering, and shcool part-time (two classes), lots of homework, and driving children around to church committments during the week on top of the weekend. My relationship with God comes first over trying to make things work with this guy. If the guy was worthwhile then I know I would be able to find the time to have a date to get to know him. I will cross that bridge when it happens. Take care.

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 10:53am

Okay, right up until he asked you for pictures, I was thinking that you were expecting way too much at this stage of

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 12:18pm

You can always put a block on your emails from him and your phone also, I would think once you dont respond to him, he should get the message.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 12:18am
Hi m_kiera, I agree with your post in that I may have been fretting. The reason I did with the phone calls was because I wanted to see what he would say after he continually would say he could not wait to see me, he was so busy, so many committments going on, come to find out he never did any, just stayed home, which if he was home doing nothing he could have called me, and some of the comments he made on the phone. I did give him a chance and really did want to get to know him. Because of some of the things he's said makes me feel like something is not right. If feel as though there was some missing information between the things he would say. I feel more right not contacting him and contacting him. You know we get feelings in our gut that something does not sound right or is fishy and I just have to follow my gut.

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 12:29am
Hi yankee-n-sc, he called me today, I did not answer. Unfortunately I saw him during my afternoon break, he was walking, we stopped I said hi, how are you, and what are you doing to be cordial, and then stated I had to get back to the office. When I got home he had emailed me with 6 Questions Marks in the Subject line and stating in the email "We have had a change of hearts", he did not know what he did or said to me, and wished me the best. I found the Questions Marks as a strong statement, who uses 6 question marks and he was making a point? I did email him back telling him I have a lot on my plate and can't date right now and wished him well. Which I do have a lot on my plate and really did not want to go into it with him on why I don't want to date him or contact him, I don't want to hurt his feelings and be mean to him which is why I put the blame on myself, that it's me; and the only reason I emailed him back was to make it clear I won't be dating him anymore so that he can stop contact. This way hopefully he won't call and if he does I won't feel bad for not returning phone calls or future emails.

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 8:19am

I think you did the right thing.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 8:21am

You're