making too much of this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2007
making too much of this?
1
Mon, 02-09-2009 - 9:55am

Ok, I will try to give all the details without writing a novella :)


In August, reconnected with a guy I knew in high school. Since we met again in August, we've emailed a few times a week and talked on the phone once every week or so. We have been out together - museum, farmers market by his house, etc. Everything that felt very date-like, but nothing ever happened. Asked him about it one day after about 5 of these non-date outings. He got divorced about 2 years ago and is taking some time to himself, consiously NOT dating anyone. Doing what he wants and not having to worry about another person's schedule etc. I have no problem with this. Around New Years, we were talking and he mentioned that he was ready to date again. He has always been very bad at interpretting flirting (his words) and so I emailed him saying that if he was interested in dating again, I would love to have a real date with him (joked about giving him very clear signals in the email)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 02-09-2009 - 2:04pm
Have you read the book "he's just not that into you?" Seriously. I mean you he says he wants to date, you tell him you are interested in being his date, you tell him that you want to kiss him, still he doesn't kiss you. He tells you he wants to date you & other people. That's pretty clear that he just considers you a casual date, at least just for now. I think you shouldn't make much effort for this guy. If he calls you & you're free and you have a good time when you're together, fine, continue in that way. But start looking for other guys too. I know that's hard if you're interested in him. But if a guy is really interested in you, he'll make you the #1 priority. You won't be the fill in person if he doesn't have anything else to do. Don't call him too much. How many times have you seen it happen that also that when you suddenly have things to do & are dating other guys, then he'll become more interested. Don't make it too easy for him.