Meeting someone from online?
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| Tue, 05-16-2006 - 3:24pm |
How soon is too soon to meet someone that you met off a dating site or the internet? How many emails? How many weeks, etc. should you have before meeting? I have really hit it off with a guy that I met online (from another message board, and I've read his dating profiles on other sites and we've talked on the phone and emailed like crazy for the last week). We are talking about getting together on Saturday. My mom and best friend are freaking out because it hasn't been long enough since I met him online. I think that I have a pretty good feel for this guy. I will be meeting him in public, with my cell phone on and I'll have someone call to check on me during the date. How is it really all that different than meeting someone in a bar and going out to dinner? It isn't. Actually this way you get to know the person better beforehand only you don't actually see them in person until you meet. I've heard his voice and emailed him multiple times... I feel completely comfortable meeting him. We've been talking very often for the last week... but I wanted to see what other people thought. How often do you wait before meeting someone from match or something like that?
Summer

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Hi
My you are brave. I just started 3 weeks ago and am still emailing despite numerous requests to get together.
For me mentally I've got to be ready.
My sister did online dating and now has a great bf from it.
My sister would meet them after a few emails and then a phone conversation.
You have a good plan with the cell phone and public place.
My friends friend is marrying a guy she met online.
I love getting to know the person through email.
Good luck on Saturday
It depends on YOUR comfort level. Also, for further comfort, I always do a online search - go to the county courthouse and see if he has a criminal record. Go to the property appraiser and see whose name the house is under. Do a google search with his name in "" marks and see what you can find.
I think that you want to make sure he has a house or address where he says he is from, is not married, and does not have a criminal record.
One of the girls on our board always did that - that is how I learned it - and she found out that one of the online guys was a mushroom farmer - but not the legal kind!!
(SORRY to KAREN - I see I just responded with my hat on - but had to help here - please forgive)
When you have a kid you can never be too safe. And I am surprised at what I find online sometimes.
- men that are married (property search shows man and wife)
- DUIs
- domestic violence record
I just feel better when I see that they are who they say they are and they own the house by themselves and they only have a parking ticket in the online courthouse records. Also, sometimes you can find really nice professional articles about them in google and you can see that they are good.
are there any OLD sites that don't cost a fortune? i responsed to one and haven't heard a word. also i am not too keen on putting a picture up -- i do look younger than my 50 years (not bragging have been told by people i work with)
thanks
I think the best one is match.com because it has so many people. I have heard that yahoo personals is free or doesn't cost much and people have luck on there.
Many of the other freebies attract guys who just want to chat or have sex. Guess you get what you pay for?
There is an OLD board here at ivillage - they have a lot of people who might be able to help - it is a great board. Not that this one isn't great too!!
Well, I haven't done any OLD yet, but if you were my daughter I'd say go for it. Talking to someone online is not going to make it safer to meet in person. It's just going to make you think you are safer.
Meet in daylight in a public place. Have someone know where you are. Don't drink. Do all the safe things and have a good time.
www.plentyoffish.com is free
and so are yahoo personals
I haven't heard good things about yahoo. I signed up for plenty of fish, and I didn't get as many emails right away, as I did with match. But there a lot of people on there. A lot of people on the other message board that I post on that are divorced or divorcing swear by that site (most of them are older). But it depends on stuff like where you live too. Anyway those are the free sites that I know about.
(Edited because I realized I had responded to the wrong message.)
When I say I haven't done any OLD I mean that I haven't been on a date yet. :) I am actually a match.com subscriber and I'm trying out e-harmony. I will check out plentyoffish when I get done with match.
As far as yahoo personals go, I think it is like match.com -- you can post your profile but in order to reply, you need to join. I think you even need to join to read the full profile. I'm not sure. I glance through several and went with Match because it seemed to have the most people from my area.
Good luck with your date.
El
Edited 5/17/2006 12:12 am ET by elarisa
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