Men seem to want to date younger women??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2008
Men seem to want to date younger women??
19
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 4:34pm

I am newly divorced and dating again at 42. My issue is that all the guys I meet don't want to date 40 somethings. So

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 11:39am

You think it is bad now just wait until you are in your 60's.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 4:39pm
I was skimming a dating site one night (not really read to do it, just looking) and I also noticed the same thing. I am 51 and I would see that guys around my age would say that they want a woman 30-40 or something. I prefer someone right around the same age as me, give or take--my 1st DH was 2 yrs younger and my 2nd was 2 yrs older. I do think that's the problem w/ dating sites--people are listing their ideal, so you can pick anything they like, no matter how unrealistic. Now if you & I don't want to date men 10+ yrs older than we are, then women who are 30 probably also don't want to date a man in their 40's, so I think these guys are pretty unrealistic. I know that I look younger than I am. If people meet me in person, they probably guess about 10 yrs younger, even though I'm not a "babe"--I dye my gray hair and I don't have wrinkles. I don't know what the solution is, cause I don't want to date older men either. In fact, I would prefer younger cause I find older guys are kind of stodgy. How are you meeting your current guys? On dating sites, in bars or other ways? My theory is that if you meet someone in person and get to know them first, if they like you, then age really isn't that important, but if it's thru a dating site, then they already have some image in their minds that they have to get past. By the way, after my 1st div, I was about 40 and I did date some guys who were a yr or 2 younger than me, so it's not everyone who cares.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 4:51pm

I find older guys are kind of stodgy. Amen to that sister.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2008
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 10:41am

I think meeting men in person is the way to do it. I think men on the dating sites are looking for a fantasy. (I also think half the people on those sites use fake pics anyway! ) So for now I will just concentrate on me.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 7:28pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 7:58am

A few years ago I belonged to a dating site (it was free then).


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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 8:56pm

I haven't really found it's a problem--I wouldn't want to date the guys who arbitrarily judge me based on my age anyway, and I'm certainly not going to stoop to lying to attract those guys, KWIM?


In recent years, I've dated men from early 30s to mid-50s (I just turned 50)--the only reason a good guy would want to date someone younger is because he wants to have kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 8:03am

The guy you were dating -- does he want kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 11:04am

I didn't really think about the having children part and I agree that's a legitimate reason for wanting to date a woman who is still in childbearing age but sometimes I think that it's a fantasy world also. Like when you see these guys who say they only want a woman who is thin & beautiful and they aren't so great looking themselves. I guess if we are advertising on the internet, we can ask for anything we want. I think that's the problem w/ the internet dating, that since you are really only getting to know people superficially, you are looking for certain "characteristics". I have to say that when I met my 2nd DH, which was in person at a group meeting, my first thought was "I could never date someone like him," then gradually I got to know him. At first I was turned off cause at that time, his hair & beard were longer. I didn't even know about his tattoos then. lol I just thought he wasn't my "type" whatever that was.

I think it's interesting that you mentioned "networking" which most people only think of regarding a job search. I know that's the old way to meet people, before the internet existed, was to meet "a friend of a friend" or even have your friends set you up on blind dates. I do have to say that it seems that none of my friends or family ever knew anyone single.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 5:35pm

Well, and after a certain age the want-to-have-a-family thing doesn't make sense for anyone any more.

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