Moving to fast or is it me??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Moving to fast or is it me??
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 5:33pm
I was in a really bad relationship on and off for about 10 years. I ended for good about a month ago. He has really bad depression and drug/alcohol problems. I think I always tried to "save" him but ended up not caring about myself. Anyway I met a really nice guy and had a great first date. The problem here is I think he is going too fast. He's so nice, has a great job, blah blah blah. I don't know if it's because I was treated a certain way (really bad) for so long that I don't know what it's like to be treated nice. I told him I can't jump into anything to quickly, he said he understood but is still asking to see me almost everyday. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I could see myself dating him but I need time. I need advice on how to let someone treat you nice after coming out of a miserable relationship........
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 8:31pm

Well, when he asks you today if he can see you.... today.... or tomorrow.... why not suggest a day that you can meet up with him, three or four days away.

I mean, there's a fine line between him being very interested and wanting to spend more time with you... and being too dominating.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 9:45pm
My advice? Just continue to be honest w/ him. You're doing the right thing. There is nothing wrong w/ seeing each other once a week or so. Let him know you really want to take it slow.
If I went out on a first date and he wanted to see me EVERY DAY after that, I'd be flattered, but worried about where HE'S coming from too.
You're doing just fine taking your time to get to know him. Do what feels right for you right now. Take care of you!
- JD

- J. Darling

Singe, Songwriter, Author for Celebr

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 5:58pm

yeah. Keep your own life ands your own interests. It will keep him on his toes for one thing.

I see so many of my friends become shadows of their former selves when they start dating. They lose all interest in their hobbies and friends. Then (often) either the bf dumps them or they have no support system when the honeymoon ends...

.. either way it means you have something interesting to talk about when you do hook up.

Any decent guy will be happy for you to have "outside interests" and friends. If he doesn't, he has issues.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 10:32am
Hi ...Guy here who went too fast and now knows how to play the game now...I was needy after the loss of my wife.....Partner gave in to the neediness..She had her own needy issues ..We fed off each other probably ......We fell in love sorta...LDR.(ck my posts on LDR board)...It sucked we broke up ...simple...Bottom line as I am now in a new relationship....BE CAREFUL.....In looking back I wish she had slammed on the ********* brakes......I offered and gave my all and she hurts......good luck...I guess you must "play the game"......eom