Need Some Dating 101

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Need Some Dating 101
2
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 2:24am

About a month ago, I ran into this guy that I had gone out on a date with a year ago. We recognized each other at the networking/dating event and chatted most of the evening. Something came up about never hearing from him and he said that he assumed that I was not interested because when we went out I must have said something about how he was younger than me and he thought that was a dealbreaker for me. I said that I didn't realize I mentioned that and it wasn't a dealbreaker. He's 32 and I'm 36.I told him that I thought he wasn't interested because I never heard back from him. He said that wasn't the case at all and if he could have my number. So we exchanged numbers and a week later he called me to make plans to go out. We met at the park and basically just walked and talked for four hours. It was one of the best first dates ever. At the end of the night he kissed me and invited me to his place for brunch the next day because he was having people over for his monthly brunch party. Unfortunately I couldn't make it and declined the invitation. I had such a great time hanging out that Monday I reached out to him over email and apologized for not being able to make brunch and asked him if he might be interested in listening to some live music. He responded over email and said that he would be interested and that he wanted to take me to an 80s dance club and if I was free to hang out this week. I was free and even though it was a "work-night" and normally don't stay out too late on weeknights I wanted to see him and I love dancing to 80s music. So I met him out and once again had a fantastic time. Suprisingly I was early to the venue and he was 30minutes late. I was annoyed but the minute I saw him I just lit up and almost forgot that I was annoyed with him. The rest of the evening we talked, danced and were very affectionate with each other. At the end of the evening he tried inviting himself over and quickly turned that request down and said good night and that I was looking forward to seeing him next week. It's been about three days since we last hung out and I haven't heard from him. I think its been such a long time that I've been on dates with someone I've been really interested in I'm just wondering whether getting to know each other by seeing each other once a week means that he is somewhat interested in me? Should I just focus on spending time with him and get to know him rather than dwelling on why he has not called me/contacted me? I think I was expecting that he would have reached out the next day and said that he had a fun time hanging out but he didn't and that bummed me out and I was thinking maybe he isn't interested. Any advice anyone has would be much appreciated. I'm thinking I shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket and continue to meet people and keep myself busy and not focused on him cause we have only been out two times.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 02-24-2013 - 12:57pm

I agree with your last few sentences--don't get too hung up on this guy after 2 dates.  I think the only way to figure out if someone is interested is if they keep asking you out.  Do you already have definitely plans to meet up next week or are you just hoping he will call you?  This guy seems to jump to a quick conclusion too and he may take your refusal to let him come over as negative or he may have been just hoping for some quick sex and then you never would have heard from him again so it's good that you said no on the 2nd date.  There are some guys who will call & text you so much that you think they are stalkers and then other guys you don't hear from much--you just never know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Mon, 02-25-2013 - 11:45pm

nyc_alias-

Yes, it was just two dates. Also, this guy does seem quick to make assumptions that are wrong. Unfortunately, occurences like this are par for the course when you're single. Anyway, who knows--maybe you'll run into him next year and he'll then be ready for a third date!