Nervous

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Nervous
4
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 11:49pm

Last week a guy on Match.com started an online conversation with me, and today we talked. He wants to get together next Friday. I'm nervous because this is the first guy from online that I'll be meeting who is actually "about average" in build (unless he has lied and his picture is old, which is possible). I don't worry about being chubby when the guy is also overweight, but ...

The thing is, I have a small frame and I am short, so the match.com descriptor "large" or "big and beautiful" or whatever it was, just didn't fit. That left me with "a few extra pounds" but that is wrong too--I am more than a few extra pounds overweight.

I've included a couple of full-length pictures in my profile, but they are pictures that flatter (I am only human)-- you know, a picture with one foot in front of me and shoulders slightly tilted sideways--the classic pose to look thinner. And nothing really gives the impression of what I look like standing next to other taller, thinner people (short and stout like the little teapot of the song, I'm sure).

So should I warn him? Should I send him a bunch of unflattering pictures to prepare him?

Don't laugh at me. I'm really concerned about this. What if he takes one look at me and decide that I am a small blimp and can't wait to end the meeting for that reason.

:(

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2006
In reply to: elarisa
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 1:25am
OMG, do I ever hear you! I'm just under 5 foot and I'm having some very similar concerns. The best advice I can come up with (for you and myself) is that it's commonly accepted that people stretch the truth at least the tiniest bit when it comes to online personals (and online information in general, probably). So, with that in mind, I'd forge ahead and just see how things go. He's probably fudging a little bit too :-) We all do it, nothing to be ashamed of. If we aren't our best salesperson, who will be? Besides, if he's the type of person who would instantly walk away because you don't look precisely like your ad, do you really want anything to do with him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
In reply to: elarisa
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 1:49am

Thanks for the emotional support.

Of course I don't want a guy who will walk away because I'm fat. But I'd rather avoid the situation where he will walk away. I mean, I'd rather that guys who are turned off by "overweight" should just avoid me. That's why I won't exchange e-mail with guys who don't list "a few extra pounds" among their options, even when they contact me and/or seem perfect in other ways.

I haven't lied in my profile. There just wasn't an accurate descriptor for me. And of course I picked the best pictures. But they're all recent and unretouched.

That doesn't change the risk that he hasn't realized what I will look in person and that he'll be unpleasantly surprised. I just wish I could avoid the awkwardness if he really hates it.

Elsa

(Edited because I made too many typos.)




Edited 6/18/2006 1:57 am ET by elarisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
In reply to: elarisa
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 2:52pm

Good luck Elsa!

It's good that you are being honest and saving yourself heart ache by "pre screening" a lot of your online dates.
Let us know how it goes!
- JD

- J. Darling

Singehttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v244/JDarling/Headshots/Picture001.jpgr, Songwriter, Author for Celebr

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
In reply to: elarisa
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 10:22pm

Thanks JD,

Of course, this being an OLD arrangement, it may very well fall through before Friday. ;)

Elsa