New City, Starting Over

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
New City, Starting Over
4
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 12:09pm

Hi everyone,


I'm in the process of ending a relationship of 3 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 8:50pm
You did the right thing by getting out, don't beat yourself up for this, and look at it as a past experience to not try again. As far as the on-line dating thing, I am so not into to it, there are so many people who lie about themselves through their profiles and pictures. I was signed up with Yahoo Personal and Match.com several years ago, wont' do it again, even if it means that I have to wait so many years to get another date. Men that were on the site back then are still on the site now, makes me wonder in the fact that they are not serious plus are a playing around to see who they can hook up with for the night. Trying to meet someone to day should be the least of your worries right now, you just moved plus you are going to school, not a whole lot of free liesure time. When you are ready to move on there are many places in which you may meet someone such as Coffee houses, sporting ativities, church functions, friends, and even school. I have been single for two years after I broke up with my ex and I am really involved in my church & children, to where it does not phase me that I am not dating anyone right now or that I have not been on a date since a specific date. That is the least of my worries right now, I would love to meet a man who's following the path of the Lord, someone who is respectful/mature/honest and so forth. To me it's not worth settling just to have someone. I can relate to the guy you were with, one of my ex's would not shower regulary or brush his teeth - eehhh gross - LOL, won't go there again, much better off waiting for the right one. Look in your local phone book to see what types of activities/classes are offered in your new city, you can meet people with the same interests and then build additional friendship of people who know other people. Get out and look at it as though you are going to enjoy yourself and meet everyone & anyone, not that you have to meet a date. There are a lot of sites now on the web to do some investigation before moving in with the guy. To be honest, I don't go snoop a guy out just to snoop him out, if I am getting serious with someone and suspect something is not right or that they are hiding things I will see what I can find on them on the web. I did this once with a guy from Yahoo's personals - come to find out he had charges against him for Domestic Violence and my last ex who I was supposed to marry two years ago still have properties with his ex-wife of 8 years. Most importantly you need to be careful, take things slow, and no moving in until you've don't some type of research on the guy. I wish you well and the best in Starting Over - I love the phrase "Starting Over".

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 11:36am

Hi,


While I have not been through the bad experience you are going through, on the day I signed my divorce papers, I also closed on the sale of my house, loaded up my animals and daughters, and moved to a new town.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2008
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 5:35pm

I understand the "new city" thing.

It's okay to jump...you have wings! 

To move forward...you have to stop looking back.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-17-2008 - 1:05am

I'm sorry that you're having to go through this.