New to dating and over 40

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2010
New to dating and over 40
13
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 9:32am

I am 46 years old and met a guy at my gym about 6 weeks ago. I did not want to go out with him at first but he pursued me pretty relentlessly and I agreed to meet him for dinner one day after the gym.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 11:28am
"Now he is texting asking what is wrong" Tell him whats bothering you.Be upfront and ask for what you want.If it works well enuf but if not,you will save time and possible future heartache!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 3:56pm
If you did like him, I think you need to make it clear that you want a relationship where you see each other in person & go out, not just a texting relationship. I do think there are a lot of guys who are content to just email or text, but I don't see any potential there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 2:38am

Cate2010


Well, from the male point of view "we" are pretty oblivious to hints, no matter how blatantly obvious they are to women, we just hear and understand

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2007
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 12:29pm

This guy clearly needs to know exactly what you want and what is bothering you. If you see him at the gym, tell him that you're not a 'texter' and you'd prefer to go out 'in real life' so to speak. If he doesn't ask you out after that, then I'd not bother with him. There are plenty of guys out there that really want to date, not text. Don't settle for Text guy. You're worth dating!

PS: For the record, I've had the same thing happen to me, all the guy wanted to do was chat. I stopped responding, and he 'went away'. :)

Never give all the heart, for love...
If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 3:05pm
Not just Guys!!!!
Channel Issac Asimov"s The Naked Sun, I robot. Remember Demolition man? The sex scene?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 3:08pm
This is a great problem. Today from the comfort of our abodes we ca reach out and converse but not meet in the flesh. Many people become frustrated by this. You will find in many personal ads the people do not want an endless e-mail,chat,IM relationship. But it is difficult to get around.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 3:36pm
No, I am not much for sci-fi.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 5:29pm
Oh well
but the tale was disconnedcted from face to face contact. Is that what we are moving toward?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Mon, 05-31-2010 - 11:56am

Is he shy? If he's really shy or afraid of getting into a relationship he could just be stalling. At this age he should know what he wants and go after it, regardless of how he feels. There's no way of knowing what he's after except by talking to him and then seeing how he reacts afterward. If he keeps up with just texting, or you start dating and he still acts elusive and hard to get to know, I'd figure he's running from something and good chance he won't change.

 


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 7:40pm

I agree. Tell him the truth. Texting is a waste of time unless you're in a relationship.


And NEVER ever settle for someone because you think there're not enough men out there! It's ok to settle for someone imperfect because that just makes sense. No other kind of settling makes sense, though.


Keep in mind that if this is the way he behaves in the beginning, what have you got to look forward to later on? Like in three (lousy) weeks?

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