OK, now what?
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| Thu, 04-16-2009 - 11:22pm |
I put a post up here last week about I guy I had been out with three times, had a great time, yet no kiss.
I was away last weekend, he had his kids, but when I got back to town he called immediately and set up a date for tonight (Thursday). In the meantime, we talked on the phone Monday and last night, about 45 minutes each time.
Tonight, date 4. Three and a half hours of non-stop talking and laughing. Date ends at 11...hug, no kiss. Asks me out again for Sunday.
So, ladies, what's the deal? Am I in the friend zone, or is this guy really shy? He made some references as to not understanding guys who go to hookers (after my story of inadvertently staying in an hourly hotel when I was in Paris in 1985), not dating much in college or afterwards. He has kids, so I know something gets him fired up...but it doesn't seem to be me!
Do I continue with this, or just count it as a pleasant evening. He's a nice person, the kind I should have been with years ago, instead of the jerk I married and the jerks I have dated.

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I went out on
I went out with my date on Wednesday night. Three hours of non-stop talking and laughing. I put my hands out on the table, nothing. Leaned forward a lot while talking, nothing. Walked out the door, nothing. Quick hug goodbye (I got a better and more affectionate one this afternoon from a guy I was friends with in high school who I haven't seen since 1982)...a hug like I might give a work colleague on the last day of school. But then a phone call on Thursday (phone tag), a long call during the day Friday. Nothing this weekend because he has his kids.
But, sadly, now I am starting to get bored with this situation. He is very nice, but I am starting to think that it's going nowhere. Funny thing I just read somewhere "If you think it's going nowhere, it probably is..."
This morning I got a surprise e-mail from an ex. A real shocker, haven't heard from him in nearly 9 months. But it made me think...when we dated he ALWAYS had one nice thing to say about how I looked every time we got together, from the first date on. He often told me how pretty he thought I was. He touched me often...even if we were sitting at his house just talking there would be an arm or leg draped over one of mine. Even in the e-mail today, he mentioned how "kind and fun to be with" that I am.
I am not sure why he even contacted me, and I am not looking to take up with him again, but my point is...I like being told I'm desirable. I like people saying nice things about me, because I don't always feel that way about myself! But I have been dating mr. shy for almost a month and have never once been complimented or touched. And I miss that part.
"I like being told I'm desirable. I like people saying nice things about me, because I don't always feel that way about myself! But I have been dating mr. shy for almost a month and have never once been complimented or touched. And I miss that part."
Yes! That is so important. Whatever is going on with Mr. Shy, he needs to get out of it.
You might just have to talk to him. Just say that you wonder why he doesn't hold your hand and so on a little more now that you've been dating for XYZ months. His response might open up a discussion. If it doesn't, then maybe it's time to move on.
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