A Pickle...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2013
A Pickle...
4
Thu, 04-11-2013 - 10:55am
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 04-11-2013 - 2:44pm

I guess I am one who doesn't see much future in a relationship where you are 2000 miles away from each other but I know that some people do end up together starting out very long distance--I still think it's rare.  I wonder--are you young & inexperienced?  Since you said there is an age difference, maybe he feels that he would be taking advantage of you?  Did you ever talk about what kind of future relationship each one of you wanted?  Are you thinking about marriage & kids while he's just thinking about having some fun?  of course it seems to me if he only wanted casual fun, he could get that closer to home.  There are just a lot of unanswered questions here to be able to find out what is going on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2013
Thu, 04-11-2013 - 3:32pm

Thanks for your response. To answer some of your questions , I'm in my 30's, we did speak of a future... We both wanted to be in a committed relationship, then marriage & children . We got very close he shared some very intimate details about his life. We spoke of me relocating when the relationship got to that level since W my job I could live anywhere. To answer your other question about inexperience , I never dated a guy who didnt shower me w kisses and affection. For me that's what I require to get my engines going....I think he is used to women throwing themselves all over him bc of his job

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Thu, 04-11-2013 - 3:50pm

I agree with you, I think he is just not that into you anymore. It is no one's fault, just sometimes things change with one or both people and you both move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Sat, 04-13-2013 - 9:10am
Let me sum this up...
1. You emailed back and forth. Anyone can say whatever they want in an email and build the butterflies and rainbows of a fantasy world. You both met with high expectations and floated off those expectations. That was basically date #1.
 
2. You met again. That was date #2 and by then he was already less than enthusiastic about it all and the butterflies had flown away. He staggered on a bit, but he is done.
 
The deceiving thing about long distance dating is that it is too easy to build a fantasy, because time can be delayed and also controlled through texts and emails. Most people spend time to get to know each before they are already planning their future as you two apparently did before even getting to know the real person.
 
When dating someone near, you have date #1, maybe #2 and #3 within a week or two, and it's over much quicker if one or both aren't into it, or one of them already begin to show sides of themselves that are less than attractive.
 
Move on.