Round Two with Mr. Potato Head

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Round Two with Mr. Potato Head
43
Sat, 04-25-2009 - 7:34pm

Late yesterday evening Mr. Potato Head sent me a longish friendly e-mail. And at the end he says, "There are no good movies this weekend, so let's plan to go out next weekend even if there isn't a good movie."

Notice he doesn't say what day. Notice also he is acting as if the only reason he didn't phone me to go out last weekend(or ask me out for this weekend)was that he was waiting for a good movie. (Shouldn't he have discussed it with me? Maybe there's a movie I wanted to see even if he didn't.)

I took my time answering, but in the end I told him that I wasn't going to agree to go out on a date with him again unless he made a specific commitment as far as day and approximate time, and communicated with me if he changed his mind. I explained that I had understood that he was going to call me the week before last, and he had just left it all in the air.

Now it is up to him. We will see what he says. I hope he takes it gracefully and apologizes, but I am not going to hold my breath. He's already shown me that he may disappear for a while if it suits him.

I'm a little worried, but I'm also relieved. I'd rather have this sort of thing out in the open.

Dabela

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 8:40pm

You better BELIEVE I am going to enforce the rules! It is completely insane the way he thought he could do this. I sent him a VERY long e-mail describing IN FULL what his issues are (as I saw them), the reason that he has probably not had any successful relationships since his divorce is that he pulls women to him only to push them away as they get close...and that makes people ANGRY, get off his arse and get a job, stop wallowing in misery.

Today I got a very contrite message saying he was sorry for being so terse in his message to me, that he would think about what I wrote, yes he wants closeness and pushes it away, but the kicker was that, yeah, he puts up walls, but he isn't going to do anything about it.

That'll help...

I have never done this before, actually told them off. But I won't get played the fool by anyone anymore. I had hoped that things might have been better this time, clearly I was a fool. As they say, fool me once...well, got fooled twice, so shame on me. As The Who said, "Won't get fooled again".

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2001
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 8:42pm

These guys NEVER change. They use words to woo and it works, probably has been working for a long time. Otherwise they wouldn't do it.

No integrity. Just lotsa balls.

Plus they know the weak spot we've got for 'em!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2001
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 8:49pm

Someone on this board had a great resource for exactly this sort of man problem, a website started by a woman for those of us attracted to The Unavailables.

Baggageerclaim or something like that...it's excellent and down to earth...does anyone remember that resource? My bookmarks are a mess and I can't find it. Great reading, touches everything we've talked about, the excuses, the promises, the making up, and on and on and on. You get the idea.

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