Sad-Holliday syndrome

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Sad-Holliday syndrome
5
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 7:00am

Hollidays are coming and I'm kinda feeling some old holliday blues.. or holliday syndrome. Despite my singlehood, I chose to live a proactive healthy life and had worked out my self-esteem issues.. Its my choice to stop dating and just focus on my study (as a med student).. I'm happy with my personal transition though people around me kept asking why I'm still singLE. Not that I don't care, I just got tired of dating and wanna take a few months (or a year) off the game.. I'm 24 and enjoying my youth, hungry for achievements and just simply opt for independence.. I was ok with this for a year now, since I broke up with my ex.. until a few days ago, old feelings of uncertainty and vulnerability starts to haunt me. I see couple kissing, holding hands and embracing filled with love and concern for each other.. I felt deep rooted pain and mixed feelings of envy, longing and emptiness.. I tried to shrug it off and aimed to get on my feet back again but I failed.. my ex's getting married this month, on the 28th.. I realized there's no easy way to get rid of somebody whose just so dear to you.. Just when I thought I'm moving on and resilient enough to accept things as they are but, I was wrong. Its still there..the pain never went away. I was just busy concealing the truth that despite working so hard to divert my attention, I'm still an emotional wreck inside.. Its so sad that in reality, you don't get the closure that you deserve..


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2008
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 9:02am

Hi there,


I couldn't find your one reply, but anyway, would like to give my opinion, and it is only that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 6:03am

Thanks for the reinforcement =) I do appreciate your reply.. I'm currently working on it and I have just ample time to contemplate and I know dwelling on the past won't do any good for me. I'm spending more time to focus on my own needs and also the people who simply cares for me.. I'm still lucky to be surrounded by loved ones (friends and family).. I'm looking forward to re-enter the dating world and I'm kinda nervous and excited at same time. Though I don't have to expect, I just wanna enjoy and go ride with the flow. I'm also thankful there're still people like you in the board who encourages downhearted souls. I have to let my self be healed and forget the past.. I know its hard but I have to. =)

KRISTINE HERE..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2008
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 6:51pm
You sound like a very smart, grounded lady. I am 42, have done the marriage and 3 kids thing. My friends and I all reminisce about how fun our 20's were. You are at a great age and can do anything and go anywhere you want. Yes, it hurts to be alone, especially during the holidays, but try to live in the moment and enjoy. This is a wonderful time of your life, and you should live it to the fullest. You have so much to do and see, and so many exciting people to meet...including someone who will fall in love with you. Happy holidays, and best of luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Wed, 12-03-2008 - 1:52am

I know this may sound really trite but it's true, time does heal all wounds. Just give yourself plenty of time to grieve and also give yourself plenty of time to do fun things you enjoy. At some point when you're ready, the grieving will be less and the enjoyment of life itself will be more.


Hang in there.


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Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Wed, 12-03-2008 - 9:02am
Hi to Hifroman, rosepetal and fastlaney! Guess what.. I just started listing down the things that make me laugh and feel great and I started accomplishing the first few like meeting up my old funny friends and its working =).. My spirit lighten up and I'm looking forward to spend more time with family and friends.. You were right. I don't have to waste my time wallowing over unpleasant emotions.. Its never been easy to deal with strong feelings but I'm glad I'm surrounded with eye-openers like you. I have so much thing going on with my life and I can't wait to accomplish more. Right now, I'm feeling better and enlightened.. I just hope I can forget every pain sooner.. I'll be very patient though.. It's the right thing to do at this moment. Advance happy hollidays guys and Godbless you more =)