Sad-Holliday syndrome
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| Sun, 11-30-2008 - 7:00am |
Hollidays are coming and I'm kinda feeling some old holliday blues.. or holliday syndrome. Despite my singlehood, I chose to live a proactive healthy life and had worked out my self-esteem issues.. Its my choice to stop dating and just focus on my study (as a med student).. I'm happy with my personal transition though people around me kept asking why I'm still singLE. Not that I don't care, I just got tired of dating and wanna take a few months (or a year) off the game.. I'm 24 and enjoying my youth, hungry for achievements and just simply opt for independence.. I was ok with this for a year now, since I broke up with my ex.. until a few days ago, old feelings of uncertainty and vulnerability starts to haunt me. I see couple kissing, holding hands and embracing filled with love and concern for each other.. I felt deep rooted pain and mixed feelings of envy, longing and emptiness.. I tried to shrug it off and aimed to get on my feet back again but I failed.. my ex's getting married this month, on the 28th.. I realized there's no easy way to get rid of somebody whose just so dear to you.. Just when I thought I'm moving on and resilient enough to accept things as they are but, I was wrong. Its still there..the pain never went away. I was just busy concealing the truth that despite working so hard to divert my attention, I'm still an emotional wreck inside.. Its so sad that in reality, you don't get the closure that you deserve..

Hi there,
I couldn't find your one reply, but anyway, would like to give my opinion, and it is only that.
Thanks for the reinforcement =) I do appreciate your reply.. I'm currently working on it and I have just ample time to contemplate and I know dwelling on the past won't do any good for me. I'm spending more time to focus on my own needs and also the people who simply cares for me.. I'm still lucky to be surrounded by loved ones (friends and family).. I'm looking forward to re-enter the dating world and I'm kinda nervous and excited at same time. Though I don't have to expect, I just wanna enjoy and go ride with the flow. I'm also thankful there're still people like you in the board who encourages downhearted souls. I have to let my self be healed and forget the past.. I know its hard but I have to. =)
KRISTINE HERE..
I know this may sound really trite but it's true, time does heal all wounds. Just give yourself plenty of time to grieve and also give yourself plenty of time to do fun things you enjoy. At some point when you're ready, the grieving will be less and the enjoyment of life itself will be more.
Hang in there.