Sex on our first date? (in 10 years)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Sex on our first date? (in 10 years)
2
Wed, 10-29-2008 - 7:35pm

I am recently separated, pending divorce, and have my first date next week. The catch is that my first date is with someone I was involved with just before getting married. I have known him since we were about 15 years old (both in our 30's now) I always liked him, and after a few phone conversations I can say I still am interested. We were not in touch during my 8 year marriage, so it's kind of old friends/old fwb reconnecting. We have both grown up a lot.


The thing is, our first date is while Im in his town on a business trip, so we will only have one night. I am really sexually frustrated lately not having had any sex in quite a while. Since he and I were together years ago, my question is, do you think I should just ask him if he's up for coming back to my hotel with me? Im a pretty confident girl and dont usually hold back on things like this.


I know he does not have a girlfriend and has not had one for a while (through recent conversations).


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Thu, 10-30-2008 - 6:04am
There's nothing wrong with being a bit bold and up-front specially when you're confident enough but there are lots of things you should beware of. Take into consideration if he's up for it. You have to figure what is it you really want from him..is it the sex or a long term relationship? Besides its been 10 long years since you and him were together. His preferences and principles in relationship might evolved into something different from what you thought he have during those years. I suggest you wait and observe his verbal and non-verbal cues. If your gut or instinct tells you he's up for it, again reexamine your wants. If he's up for sex only then think again. You might be risking your self by being vulnerable and too frisky in a sexual way. Its an innate nature in a man to opt for the thrill of the chase. They do love sex and might wanna have sex with you right then but at the back of their minds, they want a woman who's dignified and willing to wait for sex until they're both emotionally secured. But if you opt for sex alone and no strings attached, then being bold about it won't hurt. But if its the other way, then you have to take things slowly and don't rush..you'll get there anyway..=) besides sex is more satisfying and fulfilling if there's love in between and when you have waited for the right time to have it. Its the buildup of anticipation that will create more spark between you both. Don't settle for less just because you want to have sex now. ..;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Thu, 10-30-2008 - 6:54am

I run skeptical.