Sex out of a Relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2008
Sex out of a Relationship?
4
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 12:21pm
I'm not sure if I'm asking this in the wrong place but I'm in desperate need of advice. I am moving in 3 months, and I am really attracted to this friend of mine. He's not into getting into a relationship with me and I'm not into getting into a relationship with him, we fool around every once in a while but now he wants sex. I want to have sex with him to but I have only been with one other guy and that didn't end up to well. Sex to me is a big thing but at the same time
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 12:32pm
While it's true there are plenty of people out there who have casual sex without expecting a relationship, but I think there are more out there who can't have sex with someone without developing some kind of attachment to them. From what you've posted, about how sex is a big deal to you and you're scared and confused,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 02-11-2009 - 3:22pm
Did he explain to you why he wants sex but doesn't care for you enough to have a relationship? Is it because you are moving? I think that maybe w/ more experienced people, maybe they could have a "fling" for a while, knowing that it's all about the sex, and not get tied down. I think for someone who is inexperienced in sex and thinks it's a big deal, it would probably not be very good for you. I think you would end up getting more emotionally attached to him than you are now, or later on feel that you did something that went against your morals and regret it. As your substitute "mom" here, I would add just because other people are doing something, doesn't mean that you have to do it. You have to be true to yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Sun, 02-15-2009 - 5:26pm

The first man I had sex with was

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Mon, 02-16-2009 - 11:06am
I think you really have to decide and think about this again and again.. know what you really want (is it plain sex? or you expect a relationship with him?)..But sometimes, intimacy is a li'l tricky in a way that most women fall into a trap of feeling the need to get into a relationship after sleeping with a guy. Women are more vulnerable regarding situations like this, so you can't say you don't want a relationship with him yet.. Would you feel like a dirt or trashy after sleeping with a guy you're not commited with? are you ready to take the consequences like getting pregnant or stds? what if your friendship's at stake? I don't see anything wrong with the idea of "friends with benefits" but if you choose to engage into it, be sure you're matured enough to take considerations of possible outcome. If you think you'll be shortchanged, then fight it and control that urge or need to sleep with that guy. But if you're willing to take all the responsibility (like if ever you get pregnant) then do it without regrets..