Should I ask him out or wait?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Should I ask him out or wait?
7
Sun, 04-01-2012 - 1:38pm

There is a guy I have a huge crush on that goes to my gym. He also used to work with one of my really good friends. I happened to see him out at the bar, he was on a date with someone from match.com. They have been dating for a couple months. We ended up chatting and he even bought me a drink!

Shortly after we became facebook friends and chatted online here and there. I saw him out on a friday night with the same girl from match. Both times I have seen them, its been a group "date". He went out of his way to say hi to me. At this point I figured I should get over him since he obviously is into this match girl.

The following monday, he invited me to volleyball at the gym, I went. Then we chatted online again for quite some time. I bumped into him again on thursday night, he was out with his brother. We talked at the bar until closing (about an hour). It was flirty chat. Then we talked again online after. I told

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 04-01-2012 - 6:13pm

Time to be more assertive and invite him out for drinks etc.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 04-01-2012 - 10:18pm

Is there some way you could casually bring up in conversation whether he's still dating X or would it seem wierd of you to ask?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Tue, 04-03-2012 - 9:08am

In your talks did he give you any indication to how serious it is with this Match woman?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Tue, 04-03-2012 - 2:36pm

I haven't directly asked him, BUT the first night I saw them both, I actually started by talking to the match girl. We happen to be sitting next to each other at the bar. She said they have been dating 2 months. He travels 2-3 weeks out of a month, so something tells me thats equivlent to maybe 4 dates with his schedule. Definitely new, but still existant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 10:47am
stephstar22 wrote:

I haven't directly asked him, BUT the first night I saw them both, I actually started by talking to the match girl. We happen to be sitting next to each other at the bar. She said they have been dating 2 months. He travels 2-3 weeks out of a month, so something tells me thats equivlent to maybe 4 dates with his schedule. Definitely new, but still existant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2012
Tue, 04-10-2012 - 6:15pm

Just make him sit down with you after gym for sometime for a coffee or drink. See if you guys get along then don't be afraid just take a bold step ask him he can accompany you for a night out or dinner. Its better to ask early than never. Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2012
Sun, 10-21-2012 - 2:15am

perfect approach. pre-date size up chat. When you slap the "date" label on something, things become too uptight. Casual talk is the best way to truely get to know someone. Ask him to hang out with you over some post workout gym shakes/juices or whatever drinks are there. Make up some excuse, maybe you need pointers on your workout or ask him what kind of exercises/routine he does. 50/50 shot that he is a "gympert", thats a gym expert who loves to give advice on how to properly work out. Hes going to be so into explaining the scientifics behind everything as if he is bestowing his knowledge on you, that he will be off guard for when you transition to more serious questions that dig into his current history.