Should I Make A Move or Should He?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2009
Should I Make A Move or Should He?
Wed, 11-04-2009 - 1:58am


I have a little dilemma I would love some help with. I'm currently going to grad school and there is this cute, smart guy in my class. He's easy to talk to and confident which I'm drawn to, not to mention I feel chemistry with this guy. I've thought about making the first move and asking him out, I'm not sure. I'm trying to look for signs that he is into me also but I just don't know. He walked into class tonight and out of anywhere in the room, grabbed a desk and wedged in next to me. We had conversation and joked before class. We were then split up into groups but I kept getting the feeling he was checking me out (although he was sitting directly across the room from me so that may have just been a coincidence). During our break, we chatted for a few minutes but we also checked our phones, etc. although I made myself "available" to him. Right before class ended, we got our mid-terms back and I consciously held back and timed it so we would somewhat be walking down the hall together. Rather then normal door he usually takes, he and his friend followed me down the hall. I just "happened" to walk down the stairs with them and once we got outside, his friend left and we walked to the train stop together, all while carrying on a friendly conversation. I asked him a little about himself and he reciprocated. We talked all the way to the train stop and we had to part ways. We stopped for a bit to finish our conversation before going our separate ways but he did not ask for my number. We did share a smile where our eyes locked and met before taking off but I just don't know. Any advice?

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 11-04-2009 - 8:02am

Other women on this board will disagree with me, but I would not ask him out. You're doing fine: you're showing interest, it seems he could be interested too, so I would just keep on with that. Flirt a little. You don't really know what his situation is: he could be dating someone else right now. Of course, he doesn't know yours either. :-)

I have just found over my lifetime (I'm 55) it's much better if the man does the asking. Even when I was in college you would hear, "Hey, it's the 70s, it's OK for a woman to ask a man out." Well, yes, it is OK, just hasn't worked well for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-04-2009 - 10:53am
Try to keep finding ways to talk to him in or after class. Maybe there is some reason you will have to study together or do a project together. My DD is in college--she was never shy about asking a guy to go to a dance or prom. I think maybe she wanted to make sure she had a date, but I don't think that generally girls do much asking out, even in your age group. If he is interested, he'll probably ask you, but I would say that if you really want to go for it, wait til the end of the semester, so that if he says no, at least you won't have to see him all the time & feel awkward.