Should I or Shouldn't I ???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Should I or Shouldn't I ???
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 1:08pm

Oh, my gosh! This being 50 and back to dating is so hard!

Any way, I asked earlier about asking my new minister for a date. I think I have come up with a plan, but I need some input. Next weekend, my daughter-in-law's parents will be traveling to my town and want to get together for lunch. One of the wonderful things about my son marrying Beth was that I got her Mom as a friend. She works in a Christian bookstore and we both love reading. The husband is a nice guy, nearly became a pastor, very smart and easy to talk to.

Sooooo, I was thinking of asking the minister to join us for lunch. Kind of as a "favor" to keep Beth's Dad from feeling like a fifth wheel. Of course, MY motive is to get to know the minister better. You have to understand that since my divorce two years ago, I haven't felt drawn to anyone, I didn't even WANT to date and now this guy comes along and I am so attracted to him!

Any ideas? Thanks,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 12:26am
Sounds like a good idea--just remember that it's not really a "date". It'll be better than a regular date in that you'll avoid the uncomfortable conversation lags. Your minister and Beth's dad will have plenty to talk about, so you can join in and probably learn more about him that in a one-on-one. You'll also pick up some extra things to talk with him about after the gathering.
Hope it all goes well!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 8:09am

Sounds perfect! It will not be a "real date" but will give you a chance to know him better and him a chance to know you better. Since you will be with people you like and who value you, you will show to advantage. Best of luck! I hope he can make it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 9:16am


Pianoguy seems to remember an old slogan: "there's STRENGTH in numbers!" So perhaps the adage will apply in your case?

As long as the minister doesn't feel he's being SET UP and that his invitation is strictly to attend a casual, family gathering...I don't see a problem.

Whatever happens later...." it goes to show you never can tell!" (quoting the classic Chuck Berry tune).

Good Luck!


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 1:19pm

I agree with this post and urge you to keep your feelings and expectations in check considering that this man is a link to your real family. You can put yourself in the limelight but then he has to take the lead.

Good luck and keep us posted!