the shy guy -- advice needed pls

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2009
the shy guy -- advice needed pls
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 9:29am

Ok, here's the situation.

A mutual friend set me up with a 'shy guy' a couple of weeks ago.

We've had 3 dates.

Date #1 - Played pool, had fun, he asked me out for dinner at the end of the date for the following night.

Date #2 - Dinner at a classy restaurant, rented a movie and watched it at his place afterwards, no kiss.

Hadn't heard from him for a few days afterwards and mutual friends urged me to send him a msg letting
him know I was interested, he seemed excited and we met for Date #3.

Date #3 - (He texted me that he couldn't wait to see me that night)
A few drinks on the bar side of a restaurant (as part of my suggestion), bonfire at his place afterwards,
one thing lead to another and we ended up sleeping together. It was fun, we were shy...kinda tipsy and
he was worried I'd regret it later and he didn't want me to think he was only after one thing.

In the morning he was still affectionate, after I left and once I got home, I saw these texts from him on my

"Hey, had a good time last night. Hope you don't have any regrets and hope I didn't pressure you
into doing anything you didn't want to do. Have fun shopping today. By the way, you looked amazing last night"

"you are too cute, no regrets & I can't stop smiling, enjoy your Sunday ;-)"

Nice, ya I'm pretty excited, you have a good day too"


Me: :-)


"my turn... hope I didn't scare you off, I have fun with you and I'd like to see you again ...anyhoo, hope your
day was good, ttyl"


And no reply....and it's the following day.
The guy's wife left him a year ago for someone else. I don't know what to think at this point because
mutual friends after our second date were like, you need to let him know you're interested, he's insecure
right now. I'm the first person he's dated since the ex-wife split.

So it's like, if I had left it be he'd think I wasn't interested. Now it's clear I'm still interested and he's backed off or

He runs his own business and is a busy guy, but it takes a few seconds to send a msg. I like the guy, we do
have fun and I didn't think this would happen, I thought he was into me.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 4:23pm

My only thought is don't be impatient... it can easily be translated as needy. Maybe his ex was the need-queen and if so, the last thing you want to do is have him transfer that onto you because you're acting somewhat the same way. I'm a shy guy (cautious actually),

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 10:16pm

This is what I see--after "the night" he did text you first to say he had a good time.