So I live in a highly populated area with several singles groups.
Oh, I think it's just all in the game.
First, don't assume. Just as you were at an event with a wingman, these guys may not have been interested in someone else, it just looked that way to you. And even if they were, I don't think it's any big deal if they then become interested in you. I'm a little confused...when the guy asked you out, did you turn him down?
I think it's positive that the guy wants to exchange emails and keep in touch. It may lead nowhere, maybe he sees you as a friend, but he may be working up to asking you out.
I would suggest not getting too emotionally invested at these early stages. Just go to the events, have fun, be friendly to the guys, but don't try to make anything happen. Don't worry where it's going (or not going). It's just a date. Unfortunately, you have to date to see if you really like each other.
I have a friend who, in her youth, was wildly successful with men. She told me once, "When I think a guy is interested in me, I just kind of ignore him." I'm not suggesting you do this, but I love her philosophy. Just remember...these guys would be lucky to have you.
I don't think it's a deal breaker, but I can understand why you'd feel frustrated.
Saw both guys Friday night, one will keep in touch, the other has become a kissing friend.