Spending the night

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2008
Spending the night
7
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 2:47pm

Saturday, I went out with this guy I have been dating almost 2 months. We had a nice time, went to dinner, sex, watched the olympics, drinks at my house but at midnight he had to go home. I don't understand, because there are no kids at his house during this time and my daughter spent the night at my dads. I have known him for 4 years, I am wondering why he chose to go home instead of spending the night? I am 31, he is 40. This is our second time dating. The first time we dated 4 years ago, we were in the exact situation later he told me he left because he was afraid of intimacy in a relationship. Is this the case now? He since sent me text messages and telephone calls on Sunday and Monday, telling me he had a great time, he adores me, and today he misses me. Why not spend the night?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 3:31pm

"The first time we dated 4 years ago, we were in the exact situation later he told me he left because he was afraid of intimacy in a relationship."


Sex does not necessarily mean intimacy to most men, but actual sleeping together is very intimate.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2008
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 2:02am

Yes, you do have a point. I am not trying to smother him, and I did not mention it to him that it bothered me for him not to spend the night. I just wondered why he did not. It seems at times he is coming on strong to me, and then backs off. He is sending me mixed messages. I will let the chips fall where they may, if it works out that would be great and if not it was not meant to be. I have a habit of trying to control the direction of

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 1:44pm

I think that once you start having a sexual relationship w/ someone and then want to stop, it's probably going to mean some trouble in the relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 7:52pm

Rather then guess just ask....

Just say you thought he would stay th night and were surprised when he didn't and were wondering why..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Sun, 08-24-2008 - 1:00pm

Maybe he snores or drools and is embarrassed? lol


Don't assume anything - Ask Him!


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Thu, 09-11-2008 - 4:18pm

I vote on a fear of intimacy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2006
Thu, 09-18-2008 - 6:40pm

I say he has intimacy issues...

~ Skychick ~