The strangest date I ever been on

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2004
The strangest date I ever been on
21
Wed, 11-11-2009 - 9:42am

Hey all, new here and somewhat new to the dating scene. Reading some of these posts has been an eyeopener and I can not wait to read the book so many of you suggest "A Fine Romance" by Judith Sills.

Anyway, I was in a relationship that lasted about a year, but it became on again off again after about 9 months. I should know better, once it becomes on again off again... it's over! Oh well, lessons are repeated until they are learned.

So, I go to a football get-together with friends, met a man, we hit it off immediately, we see each other again at another party, talk a lot, things seem good. He walks me to my car, asks for my number, I give it to him, blah, blah, blah, I have to go, he tries to kiss me, well, I turn my head... I don't want to kiss him yet, I just met him. So we hug good-bye. Next day he texts me and we do the text volley all day and he asks me out for the following Sat. night and I accept. Texting continues all week and he asks if I have any time before Sat to meet him, so I do Thurs. for 1.5 hours while my son is at practice. Again, we have fun and hit it off. He walks me to my car and we just did the Grandmom kiss goodbye. Ok, Sat night comes, he comes to my house to pick me up for our date, walks in the door, grabs me and plants the biggest, wettest, sloppiest kiss (tongue and all) on me. Uuummmm, hello??? If I didn't want to kiss you the 1st or 2nd time we met what makes you think I want your tongue down my throat now? So I'm a little freaked out by this but I let it go. So he comes in and is admiring my house and says "ok, give me the tour" and I said, "no, this is all you get" he says "oh come on, you're not going to show me your room?", I said, "no, my rooms a mess, the main part of the house is always neat and clean and that's all anyone gets to see" He persists with "oh, like I've never seen a messy room" Okkayyyy, I'm a single mom, work full-time, go to 4 college classes a week and I keep my house clean except my bedroom is the catch all for everything and I do not want to show this guy my room, drop-it man!! OK, so we sit down and start chatting and one of his first questions is "so when was the last time you were on a date"? Huh? Do people ask that on the first official date? So I tell him I don't want to talk about that. Later, he describes in detail a scenario of his favorite display of PDA and wants me to return with mine... again, I don't really know how to respond to this nor do I want to...

So we go to dinner... and he says "so of all the guys you've had a relationship with, what was their underwear preference"? WHAT??? Are you kidding me? You want to know if my ex-husband wore boxers or briefs??!! WOW! The rules of dating really have changed!! So we get back to my house and again he brings up the underwear conversation.... come to find out he wears thongs and apparently REALLY wants me to know this and asks if I want to see it, I said "no", I turn around to do something and when I turn back around he has his pants down showing me his thong/butt!!! Being that it was late, we were alone and had had some drinks, I very politely told him I was not interested in seeing his underwear preference and quickly but politely told him it was time for him to go.

Anyway, that was my first date in while and it may be my last for a while!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-11-2009 - 11:49am
OK, that guy was a creep. I don't think I would go for thong underwear on guys anyway. It's funny--my mom (she's 83) doesn't think that OLD is safe. She was even freaked out a little that I was going to meet some women from another board in person. But obviously meeting someone in person that you don't know isn't any better or safer. I guess even in that case, if it's someone that you don't previously know from work, school or have been introduced by friends who can vouch for his character, it's probably safer not to let him come to your house. I guess there are people who will sleep w/ each other on the 1st date, but I would say the majority of people aren't like that, so it's kind of offensive that he would assume it. Or did he expect you to get so turned on by seeing his butt that you would throw off your clothes and lead him upstairs to the messy bedroom? lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2004
Wed, 11-11-2009 - 12:21pm

"Or did he expect you to get so turned on by seeing his butt that you would throw off your clothes and lead him upstairs to the messy bedroom"...... funny!!!

This guy does not know boundaries or the meaning of the word "no". At the time, it wasn't a big deal, but the next day when I put 1+1+1+1+1, etc together it was too much. He may be a nice guy but way too pushy, aggressive and full of himself.

BTW, I would never let a stranger in my home, my friends have known him for years.... but I wonder if they know his underwear preference!!! :-o

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 11-11-2009 - 12:22pm
Please don't let this clueless Neanderthal ruin future dates for you. BTW, how old is he? He sounds about 15.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2004
Wed, 11-11-2009 - 12:23pm
He's 43
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 11-11-2009 - 12:36pm

Old enough to know better I'd say. I don't like it either when men ask what I think are inappropriate questions. I went on a date with a guy last year who asked me when was the last time I'd had sex. I didn't answer.

I couldn't help but think about a post I wrote on the online dating board called "What are men thinking?" I feel like the guy who wrote to me would be the type that would show me his underwear (since he already had a nude photo posted on his profile).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-11-2009 - 3:04pm
Don't guys get it that this kind of thing turns women off? I mean, sometimes people can have an immediate sexual connection, but that's kind of rare. Women don't want to worry that they are dating a rapist, so that's why it would be better for guys to hold off on the overt sexual comments to women they don't really know.
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 11-11-2009 - 3:27pm

Um, yeah.

In the case of this guy, he's someone I had known professionally for a long time, so I wasn't worried. He invited me to his house for dinner, and when the evening was over, I knew that he had had an agenda, but he was very slick about it, even with the inappropriate questions. (BTW, his agenda was not fulfilled...he also has a girlfriend that I didn't know about, LOL!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2009
Fri, 12-11-2009 - 10:54am
Thanks for sharing that - I now feel a LOT more normal - serioulsy. Some men are really nuts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Sat, 05-01-2010 - 10:47pm

I had a slightly odd date a while back in NYC. Seemingly great guy, ultra nice car, early 40s, tall, funny, interesting, well dressed, a bit dorky, wholly enjoyable all in all. We had met for drinks around 6pm and it was the middle of the summer. He then offered to drive me back to my house in northern NJ, which I gladly accepted. We got stuck in horrible traffic at the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel. It was still light out. Going nowhere.

He goes, I really have to pee. I guess that is understandable. What he did next threw me though: he simply got out, in the middle of traffic, and unleashed a splattering torrent of urine that had to be seen to be believed. No effort whatsoever at concealing it or at least doing it against the car. Penis intermittently on display. A couple of horns blaring in protest at this antisocial activity. Anyhow, after what seemed like a piss-eternity, he gets back into the car and acts like nothing at all happened. We're both staring at the humongous puddle of pee running underneath the cars in front of us! Anyhow, I was wierded out, and when we finally got through the tunnel and into NJ, I asked him to pull over, got out, and took a cab home.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sun, 05-02-2010 - 7:28am
Oh, wow. Just...oh wow.

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