this sux

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
this sux
24
Sun, 12-02-2007 - 11:30am

I've been lurking and I see how we all pretty much say the same thing.

LovelyStarr

"Enlightment is not a matter of imagining figu

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: lovelystarr
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 8:17pm

miklyn


You are not alone in this, and it is very frustrating. I think

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Solve et Coagu

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2008
In reply to: lovelystarr
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 11:31pm
You are so right. I think a lot of people are looking for this perfect person and I hate to break it to them...no one is perfect, but when you find the right person it doesn't matter. My life is not on hold, but it would be nice to have someone to share my plans with. It may sound strange but the thing I miss the most is lying on the couch right in front of him with his arm around me. I miss that feeling of...peace. Everything always felt right with the world at that moment. There was a time I would have made desperate choices because I was so afraid of being alone, but now I'm ok either way. I have great friends and I'm having fun.
Older is better, we've been through the crap, hopefully learned from it and do it much better the next time around. LOL. I believe the right person is a safe harbour. Who you are has nothing to do with your age or sight it is about what is inside. Me personally I love a guy that can make me laugh but also be able to have in depth conversations.

Miklyn



Celebrate the Romance
www.miklyn.surpriseparties.com

Miklyn


Celebrate the Romance www.miklyn.surpriseparties.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: lovelystarr
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 11:56pm

It is the small things you miss, snuggling on the couch, I

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Solve et Coagu

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2008
In reply to: lovelystarr
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 7:34pm

I have heard that from so many people. Do the things you love to do and before you know it you'll meet the right person. Yeah that hasn't happened yet.LOL It is the little things I miss the most. I'd be cooking dinner and he would just nuzzle up behind me and put his arms around my waist. It always tickled me but he knew exactly where to put his beard by my neck that would just make me laugh. I'm quite tickalish. I agree just laying in bed on a Sunday morning was just the best.

It's also tough because I'm a southern girl at heart and the craziness of a big city is just too much for me, but my mom is getting older and I don't want to move too far away because I can't trust the family around here to be there for her. How sad is that. If I knew they would take care of her...I'd be back south in a heartbeat.

Miklyn



Celebrate the Romance
www.miklyn.surpriseparties.com

Miklyn


Celebrate the Romance www.miklyn.surpriseparties.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: lovelystarr
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 8:07pm

I guess the thing is you miss all the things you never thought you would miss. You don't realize how much a part of everyday life that special persn becomes. The habits, the quirks, the funny laugh. You even miss the stuff that could so easily get on your nerves. Than you start to think, wow, if i could just have that back, I will never be petty about the little stuff again. Perhaps in growing through a relationship, the next one is made better, but you don't want to endure the pain of losing the one you are in. When we find that special somone that pain goes away, and we become complacent. Perhpas we should keep a reminder , a tattoo of sorts,to never take a week, a day, even an hour for granted.


Miklyn, you are young, mobile, and a family person, and best of all your Irish. You will live to love and be loved again. Yeah the stuff is corny, but ya gotta get up dust yourself off and try again.

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Solve et Coagu

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2008
In reply to: lovelystarr
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 8:57pm

I still miss him, the funny thing was we worked together so when it didn't work out we still saw each other every day. We were smart though we ended it before we started to hate each other. He was a good guy, we just weren't right. We can still talk today, but there is nothing there. I miss what a relationship is, but I know when it's right it's so much better. I know it's out there. I have married friends that see me going through the whole dating thing and they always say I'm so glad I'm out of that mess. LOL I honestly don't remember dating being this hard. I think with each relationship you find out a little more about yourself.

I must be tired because I can't do what you did....and ironically I work with html all day. How sad is that. LOL

Miklyn

Celebrate the Romance
www.miklyn.surpriseparties.com




Edited 1/14/2008 9:03 pm ET by miklyns

Miklyn


Celebrate the Romance www.miklyn.surpriseparties.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: lovelystarr
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 9:07pm

You are right family and friends are more important. Everything else is expendable.


It's gotta be tough working with him. How long were you guys together? If you don't mind my asking, what happened? What did you learn this time?


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Solve et Coagu

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2008
In reply to: lovelystarr
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 9:34pm

Scott,
We were together almost 4 years. I don't work with him anymore, the company went out of business. We have kept in touch since then. It took some time but when we both realized it was over. The friendship came pretty quickly. What went wrong...well he married the first time because of a child and he didn't really love her. So with me (we weren't married) he had an attitude I think of been there done that. He always said he didn't want more kids, he didn't want to get married, he didn't believe in valentines day so nothing on that day.
I started to realize I wanted more emotionally and physically. Would I love to get married and have kids(clock is kind of ticking lol) yeah, but the cool thing I have learned is I don't need to. If I found that someone and I woke up next to them everyday for the next 20 years or more but I wasn't married to him...that's ok. It's about being happy and respecting each other. I love this one thing my dad used to say to me. A partnership is never 50/50. One day you'll give 10 and he'll give 90 and another day you'll give 80 and he'll give 20, but at the end of day when your standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter looks down at your life...it equals to 50/50. Don't go day by day..you'll drive yourself insane.LOL What about you?


Miklyn


Celebrate the Romance www.miklyn.surpriseparties.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: lovelystarr
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 10:03pm

Ah yes, what about me. I was married as well, for thirteen years, all of which were a struggle. We had kids, two, early teens now, but really it was a struggle everyday. There couldn't have been a better mismatch if one tried. I wanted the physical, the emotional, I wanted someone to hug me just because. In all my years of marriage, do you know i don't remmber her hugging me once. We were a huge mismatch sexually as well. It was my bad though, I knew what i was getting into, but I wanted to be loved so much. Well, that ended over five years ago, dated a little hated it! Relationships just always kind of happened with me, well they did anyway.


I met dream girl last summer, she was everything i thought i had ever wanted. We almost thought the

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Solve et Coagu

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2008
In reply to: lovelystarr
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 11:03pm

I'm sorry to hear that. It is hard when you put yourself out there and then they decide they can't do it. It is funny how we know walking into relationships that we can see everything but somehow look past it because we just want to be loved. I've never really dated, I start to date and find myself years later getting ut of a relationship. Shortly after we broke up I started talking to a guy from California. I was a buyer at my last company and he owned a baby bedding company. We talked all the time, I cutely called him my grey area, because for almost 5 years he celebrated my birthday, sent me Christmas presents, would call my Mom's house at the holidays to wish everyone a happy holiday, but (yes there is a but) when it came to actually saying we are together he couldn't do it. It worked for me because I had just gotten out of my last relationship. At tradeshows we went to dinner, met his mom who loved me, but nothing more. He called the store once and said tell her, her boyfriends on the phone. They told me it was him so being cute I said another guys name and he could not let it go. So I asked him is there any reason I shouldn't date other guys and he said no. He hated the thought of me with someone else but could not commit. Like you I knew better, but I accepted it. I have truly had enough of not really there guys. I want someone I can talk with, laugh with, goof off with and cuddle with. I also want someone that can be there sexually too. I look at this and think why is this so hard?

Miklyn



Celebrate the Romance
www.miklyn.surpriseparties.com

Miklyn


Celebrate the Romance www.miklyn.surpriseparties.com