Tell me what you think guys!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
Tell me what you think guys!!
7
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 1:27pm
Okay so I just got back into the dating thing and had kind of started talking to this guy. We went out a couple of times and have been to each other's house. Since I was in a relationship before, I was hesitant to just fall for anybody. But everytime we are together, everything is AWESOME. We click so well together and I think he is a really awesome guy. There is really nothing about him that I can say is bad and he has been in a relationship also. Well we talked for 2 months and we both talked about how weird it was that we felt SO comfortable talking to each other about absolutely anything. So he said that he has developed feelings for me and we talked about taking things to the next level but then he just disappeared. And now he is acting really strange. Everything was fine that night but then he wouldn't answer my calls for about 3 days and now he's playing that ignore me for a week and then try to come over and then ignore me game and I dont' play games. He just started doing all this and now he won't talk to me at all. I guess my thing is, is he lying to me about how he felt or is he scared to commit b/c he was cheated on in the past? I'm not sure if I should keep trying to talk to him and reassure him I won't cheat on him or if I should just drop it and move on b/c he's playing me. What do you think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 11:36pm

My first thought was that you need to read a book that I just read... Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 1:45am

So what you mean when you say that "he won't talk to you at all" is that he does not return phone calls or calls you?

For me, I decide on how the person behaves and it sounds like he is behaving like he does not want to see/talk with you anymore.

Life is short. Move on.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 10:28am

I agree with this post. It doesn't matter how you feel about him - it matters how he treats you and his effort and what he wants. It sounds like something has happened for him to cool off.

Move on. Don't dwell on this or try to call him. Do something different so you forget about him. Don't think any more about it.

I love the book mentioned by the CL - there is a great summary of it on the Dating as a Single Parent board. It defines the bitch as someone who is so happy with her life that she doesn't cater to the man - she waits and finds a man who is so into her he caters to her. Not that she is rude and doesn't call. But she learns to love herself and put herself first.

She is busy with family and friends and not needing a guy to fill up her time. So when he does come along she lets him into her life slowly and waits and sees his true intentions.

Hope this helps.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Sun, 08-13-2006 - 6:53am

I read that book and also read "Why Men Marry Bitches", excellent read and now it's being passed around my circle of girlfriends, we call it our Bible. LOL.

Seriously though in the newest book by Sherry Argov she has interviewed men and they say straight out that they will purposely ignore a woman to see where they stand and to see how she reacts. If you are standoffish and go on with your life then they are more apt to come after you. Definately read both those books.

Also the men interviewed said that they will LIE to a woman and say they are looking for marriage "someday" in order to string a woman along for great sex. So her advice about that is to act non-commital when a man goes on and on about marriage and he'll one to eventually deal with you more honestly.

Think about it though, you've dated someone a few weeks or a couple of months and they're talking marriage and moving in together? Is that even practical? Just play along and don't indulge them and certainly don't bring it up to them.

Just read the books!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 2:15am
Beware of men who disappear for days and days only to reappear. Such guys are playing the field. he is seeing other women and is keeping you around just in case. You may be one of his many conquests - to - be. If a guy really likes you, then he will be more consistent about setting time with you. Such a man knows you're a gem. I'd let this Houdini of yours disappear for good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 9:58am
Hi spagirlm!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 1:23pm
Merci beau coup! Salamat! Muchas gracias! Danke shoen! Mahalo! Grazie!
I think that covers my thanks for welcoming me to the board :-)