texting etiquette

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2009
texting etiquette
7
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 9:33pm

I know this is not a big deal in the moment, but nonetheless it's annoying because it's happened several times now. I guess I want to know what you guys would do in this petty situation.

On most days, this guy I'm dating will text me mid-morning and ask me how I'm doing. It's usually almost the exact same wording every day which is boring. I reply within 15 mins of him sending it and in the text I'll also ask how he's doing. I usually include some unique tidbit of the morning instead of some boring script. Last few times, he didn't respond to my text. This is really annoying. I don't want to play games, but whether we want to admit it or not, it's eventually a power play on his part. One person waiting on the other instead of an equal flow of reciprocation. Last couple days I started to realize he does this. At first it didn't really bother me, I just figured he got busy. But c'mon. Last night he texted me asking me if I was up, and this was oh uh 9 hours after my reply to him also asking how his day's going.

After he didn't reply to my pretty novel reply to HIM this a.m., I decided that if he pulls the late night text, IM or call tonight, I'm going to let it go unanswered. Then tomorrow midday I'll text him, how are you? and let him answer. Then ignore it. That should do it.

Gee, if you text someone asking them how they're doing. They take the time to reply to you, and also ask you how you're doing. You're suppose to reply! Or chances are that they will stop replying to you. It seems like common sense etiquette. He should get with it because I could easily do away with texting all together. Lord!




Edited 10/21/2009 9:41 pm ET by sun551
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
In reply to: sun551
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 10:15pm

A plain old how are you would seem to me that he is bored at work. And if he doesn't answer ASAP, he could have gotten caught up in something.

I'm seeing someone, we text each other just about once every day. Maybe twice. Might go four or five hours between messages. It's more of a touching base than actually exchanging messages.

If it's important, like where and when we are getting together there might me many more, but they are answered immediately.

I dated a guy who would send middle of the night texts...like I'm up. I should have known immediately that any guy who is doing this is 'text reliant' and is going to do ALL their communicating via text. That gets really boring, really fast. And it's a GREAT way on their end to create distance and control.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2009
In reply to: sun551
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 11:20pm

Yeah, well, if he's bored at work and my unscripted reply to him didn't inspire anything out of him, then to heck with it. LOL!

I agree with the casual several hours between messages, etc. But to call me at night 3 times already this week with a somber "I'm sorry for not replying, I...", kinda indicates a pattern he should be more aware of about himself and his time. He shouldn't even send me his empty texts to begin with. There's something about a guy who constantly says "sorry" about things that makes me think he is completely unaware. Of course, this alone isn't going to kill the relationship or anything, but I'm done with texting. Hopefully his "sorry" nature doesn't spread into other areas.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: sun551
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 10:31am
I know that young people text constantly, but for me, I'll text if I have something definite to say, but not just the "Hi, how are you?" variety. I'd just rather not hear from someone at all than get those texts that mean nothing, so I'd either not respond or just say "fine" and see if he adds something else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2009
In reply to: sun551
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 12:02pm
Exactly, me too. I'm done with the texting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2009
In reply to: sun551
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 12:49pm

I understand your frustration because my bf used to do that to me too when we first started out, and I also tried not to make an issue out of it by not saying anything. I did eventually got sick of it so instead of going through the whole day waiting for him to reply like 9 hrs later, I just pick up the phone and call him, I’d casually ask him “did you get my text”, sometimes he has a reasonable explanation and at other times he’d straight up tell me, “I didn’t think it warranted a reply”.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2009
In reply to: sun551
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 1:12pm

"Reserve the details for a real telephone conversation which is the best way to go, imo."

That's right. I had to ignore his recent text being that it's a waste of my time b/c he doesn't reply. I'll never reply to another one of his texts! LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2007
In reply to: sun551
Wed, 11-04-2009 - 12:53am

im in my 20's and everyone i know loves to text text text. I recently gave this guy my number and told him to call me and guess what, he texted me!!!!!


ahhhhhhh! sometimes i wish it didnt exsist in our generation bc its soo hard to truly