Too confident?? Intimidating...maybe
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| Fri, 06-20-2008 - 1:01pm |
Hey everyone,
I've been single for about 4 months after a 4 year relationship. I've jumped into the dating scene with both feet and am having some interesting and great results.
I'm 23 years old and have a modest share of dating experiences.
I'm just curious about some of the comments I've been getting from this one guy I've been seeing. We're more or less friends now as he can't seem to get over the part where he thinks I'm way out of his league. He's said repeatedly that I'm intimidating, or things like that.
So, I'm wondering what people's thoughts are on this. Has anyone been told this before, and if so, how do you react, what do you do, and for god's sake, is it a turn off for you as well?? Heh.
This guy does suffer from a huge lack of confidence and self-esteem. Being friends with him now, enables me to help him with some of his "problems".

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Thanks for the compliment.
About that guy, he is successful in the financial sense. Too bad he hadn't focused on other areas in his life. I was merely curious to find out more about what kind of person he is.
Mainly---> "Be kind to everyone you meet, people are fighting their own battles."
Dating is great when there's chemistry, compatibility, common values and goals, similar "timing" personalities (similarily-paced), and if you're both at the same place in your lives... Quite often, finding all those things in one other person is so rare. I'm sure you'd agree. Yet, it's best to keep that list in mind, which is what I'm doing.
I believe that everyone has qualities that can be termed as "dateable" things. Whether they match up with your needs, much less wants, is determined by a chain of events, insight, timing, and so much more.
I've asked a few men what makes me intimidating, here are the responses in the following:
"You're intimidating because you're confident, beautiful, and smart."
"You bring so much to the table."
"You aren't easily impressed."
"You are honest, brutally so. "
Those things that those people have found intimidating aren't things I'd like to change at all!! They are who I am. BUT, I may have to tone it down, just a little, sometimes. In other words, be more sensitive to the male ego?? Hahaa.... OK, generally, becoming more sensitive to how I affect others, is something I need to work on.
By the way, I was intimate with
You've mentioned some very important points. THANK YOU!
Not settling is hard when knowing that no one is perfect for you. Am I right to think this way?
I'm no one to tell you what's 'right' to think. Only YOU can control what you think about each and everyday. Do you realize ALL we are as people ARE THOUGHTS.
I read this article on Salon.com a while back (saved it and printed it out) and I thought the advice columnist had an interesting take on "intimidation", or "why can't I meet someone?"
http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2007/01/23/excellence_fatigue/
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