Is waiting past 3 dates just too much to ask?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Is waiting past 3 dates just too much to ask?
31
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 9:25am

I posted below about dating 2 at once.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 10:37am

No I don't think it's unrealistic to expect a man to wait more than 3 dates--and I still believe if the guy really likes you he wouldn't dump you just because you didn't have sex w/ him that soon.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 11:48am

Well, it is possible that something bad happened to him, or that he lost his phone or something--it does happen. If he's dumping you because you didn't have sex with him on the third date, then I say good riddance. Since when did this "three date" rule start anyway (of course I've heard it)? Frankly, I need to spend more than a mere 9 hours with someone to feel comfortable having sex. I'm the type who wants more of an emotional connection anyway to actually enjoy sex---otherwise it's just so awkward for me. I also think, what's the rush? Isn't the beginning the best anyway (well, except the anxiety part) when you're ramping up the attraction? You've got the rest of your lives to have sex, what's the rush? Of course, I don't think you need the wait a really long time either--just until you feel comfortable. If that happens after three dates then fine, but if it takes a whole two months, then that's fine too. Sheesh.

I know there are women who can become sexual right away and not get attached, but I think it is the exception.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 3:41pm
violetblue2 wrote:

I posted below about dating 2 at once.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 8:30pm

I think it's fine to let him know she's interested/attracted, but how can she really know how long it will take before she wants to have sex? I don't think she should have to give a time frame, it's just whenever she's ready.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 10:05pm
floridagirl52 wrote:

I think it's fine to let him know she's interested/attracted, but how can she really know how long it will take before she wants to have sex? I don't think she should have to give a time frame, it's just whenever she's ready.

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 12:25pm

I think its fine to wait as long as you need and if that causes a guy to become disinterested after only 3 dates then let him go I say. I don't think any man needs to have you come home with him and sleep with him in order to determine that you are interested in him and attracted to him. Can't he tell just simply because you guys had a wonderful time and a great date? If he bails after 3 dates then I wonder how women hes slept with along the way. I do agree though that he may have been thinking not necessarily going all the way but just messing around a little , that type of thing. Again thats all dependent on your comfort level and where you are at with your feelings and attraction.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 3:35pm

Frustration is everywhere.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 5:27pm

I can't imagine why this guy can't get a date--he's so charming the way he refers to women.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 10:25pm

He is venting but his criticism is valid.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 8:49pm
khatru1 wrote:

I think its fine to wait as long as you need and if that causes a guy to become disinterested

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