what could this mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
what could this mean?
Sun, 10-28-2012 - 5:01pm

I met this guy on a dating website (Joe).  He's 39 and I'm 37.  Turns out we are just friends now because I don't want kids and he really does.  We only dated 2 months until I said something about the status of our relationship because I made a fake profile to check if he was still logging in, and he was, 3 x a day.  That's when he brought up the subject of kids.  We are just friends now, well we were FWB's for a while and once I asked if he wanted to meet up for fun and he never replied.  It's ok,  I just had one date with another guy and am emailing with someone new also.  So.....

well first he told me that he is still friends with his ex.  They dated 4 years and broke up 2 yrs ago.  They had a cat and when he moved out, she kept the cat. He still goes to see her and the cat.  I remember on our first date he showed me pics of his cat on Facebook. He loves that cat so much.

So just today I decided to add him to my Facebook - he hasn't replied to my texts so I didnt' have a chance to mention it to him.... I had his email address... so his FB page is public and I saw pics of his ex.  She comments on things here and there..... 

Just the other day he posted an old pic of him from his trip to Disney World 3 or 4 years ago and put a funny title.  The pic was from a trip he took with his ex and if they have been broken up for 2 years, then he was looking at old pics of his ex.... hmmm,  so the pic is of him locked up in one of those old fashioned wooden frame things with holes for the arms and legs for people who break the law. I Googled it and they are called pillories/pillory, so you can search images if you want to see.

The caption to the pillory pic is "Is this your idea of a perfect marriage?"

His ex replied:

How do you become happy in your marriage?  I agree with what someone else said. You're trapped.

So Joe said "Funny you say that.  Do you know who took this picture?  YOU."  

Joe's ex said " I'm glad you're not locked up anymore,  but it's nice to hear you say you will be a good boy."

Joe:  i will be a good boy

His ex: lucky me then

do you think they are getting back together?  it's clear as day he was looking at old pics of her and thinking of marriage because he posted the pic and specifically put that caption...  i'm just wondering, I mean being that he has not replied to my texts about meeting up for sex... which we did a few times already since we stopped dating....  Any thoughts?  seems they both still have feelings for each other.  Thanks.

edited to add "for people who break the law"

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Mon, 10-29-2012 - 1:15pm

Based on what you have written here, it would not lead to me to think they were getting back together. It seems like friendly banter between the two of them. As you said, they are friends since they broke up so posting on each others page seems like a normal friend thing to do.

It's great you found out early that you are incompatible in terms of your life goals so you could end things and move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
Mon, 10-29-2012 - 2:09pm

but it's just so hard to move on... especially now when I am stuck inside my apt. because of Hurricane Sandy.... WORST TIMING.....    by the way, he logged in to Facebook and posted a few things about sports and the hurricane and he did not accept my friend request.  UGH!!!  Time can only heal... but the question is, how long will it take?