What to do about a crush?
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| Wed, 07-02-2008 - 10:53am |
Hi! I'm 45 and just got divorced a couple months ago after a 13-year separation. I haven't had a date, sex or anything since I left my husband. And now suddenly while on a business trip I got the hots for my male coworker. I mean all I could think about the whole four days, and ever since, was that I wanted to get naked with this guy. Or if not him, somebody, anybody. There we were in a luxurious hotel in a distant city far from anyone we knew...it seemed the perfect opporutnity. But the second work was done he disappeared to going sightseeing and have dinner on his own. Because he didn't want to be with me, thought I would rather be alone, or just thought anything else would be inappropriate?
Now I don't know what to do. I feel old (I think he's a bit younger), frumpy, and fat, and have very little confidence he could be attracted to me. I am terrified of anyone seeing me naked. I have no idea how to approach him, I practically pass out from fear when I think about it, and am so scared of making a fool of myself and then having to see him at work for the next 20 years.
Sorry, I'm rambling! Any advice? What would you do? I have nobody to sound out on this. A close male friend of his did make a point of telling me crush was straight and single. I thought of practicing on somebody else first - ex-husband is always up for sex - just to see if it still works. Help!

I think crushes are a great way to "rev" ourselves back up for the dating game BUT when it comes to a crush on someone at work, I'd keep it at the crush stage and I personally wouldn't take it any further. The reason I say this is work place romances can be very tough if things go bad. I myself avoid them at all costs.
Sex with your ex....again, that depends on the person. If it truly is just to release tension, for me, I'd go for it BUT if you're using this as a way to avoid dating then don't do it.
Remember, when it comes to being naked, most men I know are just as insecure as woman are....they just don't talk about it like we do.
Have you tried actively dating....ie: online dating, singles groups???
I can so relate.