What does it mean?

Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
What does it mean?
Fri, 07-27-2012 - 7:26pm

I met with a guy for a first date after a month of text messaging. He has been texting even after the date.

Today he asked me if he could date me to which I responded "Yes".

What confuses me is that he still logs on and chats on the online dating site.

Is he just looking to date casually? Is he a player? He hasn't talked about meeting up again yet.


Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Mon, 07-30-2012 - 11:19am
I would define dating as in the process of going out on dates with people, not necessarily exclusively. You could be dating one or many people. Only until the both of you have a conversation where you officially decide to be exclusive, would I expect him to stop activity on any and all dating sites.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2012
Sun, 10-21-2012 - 2:00am

So just because you said that you wanted to continue after the first date, you think that he should be exclusive now? There is no love or serious feelings yet. There is a casual level of attraction, but that doesn't mean that he is going to put his life on hold for the next 3 months to see how the next few dates with you play out, so yes, hes going to be dating and chatting with anyone and everyone. Since people are generally incompatible, dating around more increases chances of meeting more compatible people. That doesnt make him a player. Exclusivity comes into play after serious make out sessions or sex. I wouldnt want to invest 3 months into an exclusive relationship and put all other options on hold only to figure out that when intercourse comes into the picture, the partner is a complete lifeless piece of wood.