I can't really offer advice about timing and the exclusive talk because I am struggling with being vulnerable myself right now. The only thing I can say is go with your gut. If everything is going well then just "woman up" and go for it. Four months is a reasonable amount of time. You sound strong and confident, so what's holding you back?
It is good that you honored your feelings and ended your previous relationship because you felt the other person wasn't honest. Sooo, you should honor your feelings again and take a risk on a relationship that feels right.
Im not so good at this myself but I might start out saying something like.......I would like to have a talk about our relationship do you think you are ready for that?
I admire the way you handle your relationship and as someone whose genuinely falling for the right reasons deserves to be happy.. You seem to be a confident woman who loves her life and independent enough. I understand if you opt to hold back a bit, its normal. But do consider some important facts about dating.. Like the first three-six months are usually the "best foot forward month" both in your part and in his part.. Its nice that you easily get comf'table to each other too soon. And that's a good sign. Take your time to know him well in other aspects of his personality.You might not have encountered the worst of his personality yet (vice versa).. Then learn to take things slow and keep the relationship flow naturally like you're doing right now. Just be careful in bringing up big issues like asking him where the relationship is going. It might make you appear needy. There are ways to keep it light though like you can tell him you are enjoying his company and you choose to date him exclusively and genuinely open up to him that you're also a bit hesitated on entering an exclusive relationship, then see how he reacts. If he does not react and avoided the issue, then he might not into it yet.. Be patient though. If he's worth dating, then wait a few more months as he might be figuring out if he's ready to take it to the next level or not.. You're the one who knows him..so you could learn the right way to catch his interest on proceeding to the next level of your relationship. Not just the usual "friends with benefit" type of relationship. Besides, love can be earned.. So goodluck.. keep me posted.=)
I would think that when you're spending that much time together and he's willing to make future plans for things like vacations, I would bet that he's not seeing anyone else anyway. I think that guys who still want to play the field are reluctant to make many future plans.
I think you could bring it up by saying that you are feeling that you don't want to date anyone but him and you would like to know if or when he feels the same way, but if he doesn't feel that way now, then you'd like to know that too. I would add that I think that most guys hate to discuss relationship issues like "where is this going?" I feel that I'm more like a guy in that respect because I don't really like to discuss that either. I think it just happens naturally. I have been married twice (and divorced twice) but I can't remember ever having this kind of talk. My 1st marriage was a long time ago, but the 2nd was recent enough to remember. Now of course we didn't have that much free time since we were both single parents. When I first started dating my 2nd DH, I was still dating other people, since we never promised to be exclusive (but I wasn't sleeping w/ anyone else after I started sleeping w/ him) but then we just started spending more & more time together. We never had an actual talk but when we were together every weekend and basically every night that I didn't have my kids, it was pretty obvious that things were serious.
I can't really offer advice about timing and the exclusive talk because I am struggling with being vulnerable myself right now. The only thing I can say is go with your gut. If everything is going well then just "woman up" and go for it. Four months is a reasonable amount of time. You sound strong and confident, so what's holding you back?
It is good that you honored your feelings and ended your previous relationship because you felt the other person wasn't honest. Sooo, you should honor your feelings again and take a risk on a relationship that feels right.
Good luck and let us know how you make out. :)
Im not so good at this myself but I might start out saying something like.......I would like to have a talk about our relationship do you think you are ready for that?
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I would think that when you're spending that much time together and he's willing to make future plans for things like vacations, I would bet that he's not seeing anyone else anyway. I think that guys who still want to play the field are reluctant to make many future plans.
I think you could bring it up by saying that you are feeling that you don't want to date anyone but him and you would like to know if or when he feels the same way, but if he doesn't feel that way now, then you'd like to know that too. I would add that I think that most guys hate to discuss relationship issues like "where is this going?" I feel that I'm more like a guy in that respect because I don't really like to discuss that either. I think it just happens naturally. I have been married twice (and divorced twice) but I can't remember ever having this kind of talk. My 1st marriage was a long time ago, but the 2nd was recent enough to remember. Now of course we didn't have that much free time since we were both single parents. When I first started dating my 2nd DH, I was still dating other people, since we never promised to be exclusive (but I wasn't sleeping w/ anyone else after I started sleeping w/ him) but then we just started spending more & more time together. We never had an actual talk but when we were together every weekend and basically every night that I didn't have my kids, it was pretty obvious that things were serious.
Hi musiclover, I hear what you're saying and I have felt the same way.