where is this going anyway?
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| Wed, 01-28-2009 - 3:29am |
This might sound very complicated and it might be easy to judge the situation here but bear with me please. Life can be very complicated and hardly anything is black and white.
So I had been dating 'A' for almost 2 years but I was having problems with him for a few months, constant fights, unresolved issues, etc. After some horrible 8-9 months with him, on a whim, I ended up drunkenly kissing another guy 'B' at a party. (Now this guy 'B' was a friend of a friend who I'd known on a 'hi-hello' basis till then.)
After that night, I felt very uncomfortable about the whole situation, but I ran into B a few times and every time he seemed very nice and interested and friendly. Slowly, we ended up getting closer - as friends, nothing physical at all.
One day soon after, during another ridiculous fight with A, I broke up with him.
I slowly started getting even closer with B, a little touchy-feely, mainly to distract myself from my breakup, and because I also was attracted to B. Then a common friend told me B had a girlfriend. I confronted him, to which he said that he wasnt really in a relationship, his ex had come back into his life recently but he didnt feel the same way anymore about her, and was trying to spare her feelings. I told him to stay away from me because if his ex was still in the picture, I definitely didnt want to get involved. I didnt speak to him at all for a week or two after that, after which he got in touch with me again, and told me that he had ended things with his ex once and for all, and he had told her honestly, that he did not feel the same way about her.
So then him and I started hanging out again. We're still 'dating' now, and I think he is a genuinely very nice guy, very caring, very smart, very attractive. We both enjoy each other's company a lot. We have common friends and we do activities all the time. We're physically very intimate, but haven't had sex, because I've basically said no.
Now, I dont know where this is going exactly. We havent spoken about defining this relationship yet, and I still introduce him as 'my friend'. Although I genuinely enjoy his company and think he's an absolute sweetheart and adore him, I dont think I want to get into a relationship with him. Firstly because it is too soon for me, and for him, and because of other external factors (major personality differences and different religions). At the same time, we are both getting attached and I find myself wondering where this is going. I will not have sex with someone I'm not in a relationship with, but it is hard because we are both terribly attracted to each other. He hasn't said anything about 'where is this going' to me yet, but he has asked the advice of a mutual friend whether he should ask me. So this means he's obviously thought about it.
Sorry for the HUGE essay but thanks for reading! Any advice would be appreciated!
| Wed, 01-28-2009 - 11:57am |
| Thu, 02-05-2009 - 6:39pm |
| Thu, 02-05-2009 - 9:51pm |
| Sat, 02-07-2009 - 8:33am |
