Which one wins?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Which one wins?
6
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 3:55pm

So, I ask this wanting nothing but the truth and input from men would be great.

Which one wins?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-1999
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 6:13pm

"The girl who calls him, texts him, and asks him out" wins.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 11:53pm
beren wrote:

"The girl who calls him, texts him, and asks him out" wins.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2008
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 11:11am
I am a woman but I seem to get much more traction by actively showing affection, in light toucing, texting, maybe an invite than if I sit back and wait for the guy to chase me. I have friends who utterly disagree with me and insist that guy has to have his "chase."

But I've come to realize that if a guy is interested in me he really tunes into whether or not I'm showing interest in him -- like am I crossing my arms or am I touching his back or am I sending him a text. It's like I have to nurture the affection of the relationship and if I'm not nurturing, he's not that interested. I've had a couple of guys say about me "She just doesn't seem emotionally available or interested" and off they would go to find someone else. To date, no guy has said "She doesnt' seem interested so I'm going to chase her more."

But there has to be reciprocity. If I send a flirty text and the guy doesn't respond or gives me a perfunctory response, then I back down immediately, right then & there. Sadly I've also learned that I can't force a guy to like me if he doesn't and so I don't need to be told "no" twice. Although, a few times the guy has folllowed up in a day or two and asked: "What happened to you?"

Bottom line, I think, is the mature & confident & emotionally available man strives for the affection and attention of a woman he finds interesting, and so calling and texting and inviting feeds that desire is a much better way to go than feigning non-interest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 12:41pm

I like this reply.

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 1:47pm

'Whatever will be will be'

In other words you believe in fate. Fate is nothing to base your life on. You control your own destiny in as much as you can. You can decide to do things, or not to do them. If you believe in fate then why even get up in the morning. Take a look at the successful people in this world. Unless they are a trust fund baby and/or had their wealth handed to them, they got to where they are because they didn't wait around for fate to bring them success and the things they wanted. They took action and made it happen for themselves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Wed, 03-23-2011 - 12:06pm

I think it really depends on the person they're trying to date.

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