Would get serious with....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
Would get serious with....
7
Wed, 10-08-2008 - 3:25pm

When I was dating my fiance she was a little tentative. She kept me at an arms distance. She had been cheated on so she was just not going drop her guard, not that I blamed her. I had the same feelings. She told me on more than one occasion that she would not get involved with anyone that cheated on their spouse.


So would you get serious with someone that cheated on their spouse?


Just wondering.


Irish Tom




Edited 10/8/2008 3:26 pm ET by irish_tom
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 10:05am

No I would not, however I did date a man that said his exwife cheated on him, but I later found out that he is the one the did the cheating.


Powered by CGISpy.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 1:47pm

You're going to get a lot of "no's" I will bet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 12:50pm
I did get serious with someone who'd cheated in the past, and he was 100% loyal to me - we just had other issues that we couldn't overcome, but he's remarried now and has been 100% faithful to his wife, so I know it's possible for someone to change.

_________________________________________________


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Sun, 10-12-2008 - 11:33am
I agree with the others who posted their replies.. Its simple: trust issues in this matter is inevitable. 99.5% chance a cheater will cheat on you again if you accepted s/his wrong doings. So its a NO NO.. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 10-14-2008 - 12:12pm
I think there are different kinds of cheaters. On the divorce board, I find that there are women whose husbands have cheated on them repeatedly or for an extended period of time and really don't show much remorse about it--I wouldn't want to get involved w/ a guy like that, who really doesn't seem to have much of a conscience. My ex did cheat on me. He admitted it when we were first having problems, but accd, to him, and I do believe him, it was for a short time and he broke it off because he felt really bad about doing it and didn't want to be like that kind of person, sneaking around. We ended up trying to work things out for a few years, and then got div. He is now remarried for 6 yrs, and I seriously doubt that he would cheat on his new wife. I think it was something he tried, but because it went against his true moral standards, he just couldn't do it. So I would think that if someone admitted it, could explain why he did it, and felt that it was really wrong, then I might give it a shot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2008
Thu, 10-16-2008 - 10:31pm

I think it depends on the reason that the person cheated. It's easy to point fingers and condemn someone who strays from their marriage, but until all the facts are known, how can anyone say that if someone cheated once, then they'll cheat again.

When the topic of marital infidelity is raised, it seems like the automatic response is to assume that the persons involved are doing so because the opportunity presented itself. In many cases that might be true. However, what about the person trapped in a marriage where their emotional or physical needs are not met by their partner. People often stay in loveless marriages because of family circumstances, financial issues, or other reasons that preclude divorce as an option. Are they to put their needs neatly away on the top shelf of the closet and live lives of quiet desperation? Is it even fair to ask them to do that?

It might apply in some cases, but to make a blanket statement like "once a cheater, always a cheater" or "if they've cheated once, it's 99.99999% certain that they'll cheat again" is unfounded and unfair.

So would I get seriously involved with a person who cheated? I guess it depends on why they cheated.

You're mileage may vary

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Fri, 10-17-2008 - 8:21am

Hi, just my opinion here but a cheater is also a liar, no matter the reason they cheated.


Powered by CGISpy.com