would you get serious with a guy who is friends w his EX?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
would you get serious with a guy who is friends w his EX?
1
Sun, 07-01-2012 - 1:54pm

he's known her 7 years.  They dated for 4 but broke up 3 yrs ago and are still friends - he told me they have mutual friends and they bump into each other but don't plan it. She still posts on his Facebook.  A stray cat came to their apt. and they made it theirs.   When he moved out, she kept the cat.....   he still goes to visit the cat and of course his ex is there ...  should I be worried? thanks

edited to say:  never ask or accept a Facebook request with a guy who is "not" officially your BF... because then you see pics and get all insecure...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2009
Mon, 07-30-2012 - 11:51am

Personally, that is a deal breaker for me.  There are people who do keep ex's as friends  but for me, I don't believe in keeping someone who I was intimate with in the past in my present for the person that I want to make number one in my life have to deal with. There are men who hold the same belief, because I've talked about it with a few guy friends. Too bad there is no chemistry there but enough of that.

Encountering this, you may learn if this is acceptable or not for you. Apparently it is for the gyuy you're dating.

However, don't dismiss your gut and anything you see on FB that is making you feel "insecure."  If there are indications that you may not like what you're getting into, use the warning signs.

A firend I had for 9 years and knew from church pursued me romantically. It wasn't until he invited me onto his friends list and I got invollved with him that I really got to know him.  Some of  his comments about other women's pictures on his page were inappropriate ( about his grown son's female friends), and his habit of acquiring female friends did not sit right with me. As I got to know him more in a dating context, I fouund those tell tale signs on FB demonstrated his true attitudes about what was ok in a relationship and his ability to admire and extend his energy towards other females. Just sayin' because what you see online may be useful information before you get more deeply involved.

Hope this helps.