Long distance relationship anxiety
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|Mon, 06-23-2014 - 7:00pm|
Hey there! I've known my current boyfriend for a while as a friend, but we've been doing date-like things since the fall and "officially" dating for 3.5 months. We live 2 hours apart. It's worked very well so far because I have a very flexible work schedule and he (until recently) has been working independently/remotely. We're far too soon in the relationship for anyone to move, but because of my job and highly specialized degree, I feel like it would have to be him. Is it too early to have a conversation about this (i.e. "do you think you could ever see yourself moving to....") The city he lives in has a population of 600K and the city I live in has a population of 200K, so it's quite a bit of a change (to say the least). I don't want to scare him away, which is why I can't bring it up. The truth of the matter is I would move for him if I could, but my job just doesn't permit it. I try to see him as much as possible and maximize my time with him, but I am also scared that I will just continue to invest an immense amount of time in this relationship only to have him decide "oops, I don't care enough about you to move" (probably mind reading quite a bit there). I know there are no guarantees in relationships, even those that start with two people in the same city, but I see great potential in this and really, really want it to work out somehow. I don't know what accommodations I need to make to ensure that, but I'm doing all I can right now.
It's very rare for me to connect with anyone and I've never cared about anyone as much as I care about him. Just a bit scared that I'm on the path to heartbreak. However, I see that when people really do care about each other, they often find a way to make it work. I'm hopeful that if we just continue on this path and things continue to go as well as they have so far, this will work itself out. Should I be optimistic? Or am I setting myself up for a fall?