Husband ignores me and my feelings!
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|Wed, 02-01-2006 - 8:09pm|
Hello, I am writing about my husband's indifference to me and my feelings. We were married fairly young,I was 23 and he was 25. Its been 12+ yrs now and we have 4 boys. It just seems that he doesn't respect me or my wishes/feelings and I don't understand why????
It started with his mother calling off our wedding. She decided that her son wasn't ready. It didn't matter what I was feeling, he stood by her decision and we postponed the cermony to a few months later. At first I was so hurt,I told him that if this was the way it was going to be then to forget the wedding all together. He apologized profusely and swore that everything would change. Wouldn't you know his mother meddled in our relationship constantly.....BIG SURPRISE!!!! Of course he always defended her!
The worst of her meddling occured when I became unexpectedly pregnant a year into the marriage. After my husband told her the news, she called me up and accused me of trapping her son, screaming at me for marrying him and then told me to have an abortion. Nice!!! Guess what my husband did....NOTHING! I told him how devestated I was with the way his mother spoke to me and told him he needed to straighten his mother out once and for all......and to cut the apron strings or she will have little to do with her grandchild. He refused! He continued to justify her behavior. After my son was born wouldn't you know my husband had the nerve to tell me that she is the grandmother and has every right to see her grandchild. Finally when my son was 3 mos old I decided to give her another chance and maybe we can all be civil. Yeah right! She is still the same big mouth, meddling, mean spirited person she has always been!
In general, my husband completely ignores me! I will try to talk to him and he will brush me off...time and time again, yet if a neighbor or friend stops by 2 seconds later he will talk up a storm. If I call him on his cell phone, he is always too busy but I catch him talking on his phone to others all the time! This makes me so sad! I don't nag him about it. I've tried telling him how this makes me feel and he basically just looks at me with nothing to say.
When we go out together, like shopping at the mall. He will wander completely away from me to the point that I have to search the whole store for him. If we go grocery shopping together, he will take his own cart and leave me completely. When I ask him why he is constantly walking away from me, he has no reason. It is awful!
Socially he is the same way. If we go to a friends house, he will completely ignore me! He will spend the entire dinner or get together talking with everybody but me! I've already gone to a bar to meet a bunch of his friends and he left me at a table with strange guys for hours while he was talking someplace else. I finally left the table and approached him. Guess what he did??? Walked away and left me!
I know I must sound pathetic, but is there any other way of looking at this? I cannot understand how my husband can be so indifferent to me and my feelings???