3 years later and a new guy???
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|Wed, 04-08-2009 - 1:31pm|
I'm completely smitten, and head over heels for the guy I'm seeing. I am also totally freaked out.
We've known each other for about 3 years and had an on again off again trimulcious relationship.
There have been many times where I swore to never speak to him again. We wanted different things and we didn't communicate well. I wanted a reliable boyfriend and at the time he couldn't be that for me. He just wanted to hang out, that kind of lame non-committal bulls**t. Over the the last three years we'd see each other and talk but it was nothing serious... My feelings for him subsided and I moved on with my life, dated other guys etc...
Recently, in the last couple of months we started seeing each other again... but its different this time. He's different and maybe I'm a little different but it's good, really good. He's been so sweet, wonderful, and kind, he communicates more and I'm starting to really trust him. He has seemed to find a certain amount of peace and he's letting me into his life more then any other time. It feels really good to be with him, he says he cares very much for me and I'm actually seeing the proof in his actions.
We've been spending a fair amount of time together and gotten into this really wonderful habit of cooking dinner and hanging out about 3-4 nights a week, and I usually sleep over. To be clear this isn't about sex... we've had sex before and have recently but we aren't focusing on that at all.
We are still taking everything pretty slowly... I haven't had him over my house yet and we haven't introduced friend groups or family. Although, I've meet his brothers before and have hung out with him and some of his friends but it hasn't become a regular thing. We aren't using the boyfriend girlfriend terms yet and we don't talk every day but we are in frequent contact. Last night I asked if he wanted to see other women he said no--he'd want to see me. So are are monogamous-- which I figured. I feel really good about how things are going and when we talked about it and he seems as happy as I am.
I am just totally scared this is going to fall apart... considering our very rocky past. If I keep engaging in the relationship I could really get hurt and I really really don't want that. When is it appropriate for me say to him I need a serious commitment from you in order for me to move forward?? I'm really hesitant to do that... since I just want to the relationship to keep unfolding and not put any pressure on it. But on the other hand I want a "guarantee" before I continue putting my heart out there with him. I'm not sure if ages matters but I'm 26 and he's 29