6 Months of Unhappy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2007
6 Months of Unhappy?
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 10:17pm

I've been dating this guy for 6 months...For the first 2 months things were amazing. We moved in together...(I know that was not the right thing but we did).
Ever since month 3 things are just not right. I thought the first year or so is supposed to be the best time! Not so much here. We have sex 2 times a week if that, argue every night just about, and he can never say anything positive. It drives me nuts. If we do have sex, right after he says something mean like "Y do you have to wear skirts." My response, " summer". Y do you have to ask such a stupid question after sex.

He has lots of debt too, so as I'm a nice person I said Y don't you pay the bills ($300/month) and I'll pay rent ($500). I did this so he could catch up on his bills. But he can't even pay the $300!!!
I know I am stupid for staying with him but everyone says he's a keeper! They don't see what I see and I think I will feel stupid if I end when they all think he's great...

What to do, how to do it????

So my ex and I dated for 3 years lived together for 2. We have been broken up for 1.5 years. It was a mutual brk up. I moved 2 hours away about a year ago and often go back home and visit. We did keep in touch for the first year then

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 1:13am
Case, *everyone* isn't dating him and having to put up with his ways. Also remember that you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 2:13am



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 11:56am

So you are only staying because everyone else thinks he's a good catch?

You guys didn't know each other when yo moved in. Of course nearly all relationship are in seventh heaving the first 2 months. Generally at the 3 month mark is the time to decide whether to KEEP DATING or to DUMP THEM.

It seems to me that you are forcing something that probably shouldn't have been. Making a relationship when you two didn't really know each other.

Do you have to stay living together? I think someone needs to move out or break the lease together. I do not see any reason in forcing this relationship to keep going.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2009
Sat, 07-03-2010 - 1:10am

My take is if you don't know what to do and how to end it based on what everyone else thinks of him then stay with him.

Once you are able to have the maturity and strength to leave based on your own self worth and values that is the right time to leave and you will know how to do it without needing anyone else to tell you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2007
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 3:19pm

Hi hun,

I would say, if you know you've made a mistake why would you consider continuing with the mistake just because of other people? No-one has the right to tell you to stay with someone, if anyone is nosy enough to ask why you left him just tell them you were incompatible, simple as that.

I'm glad you realise 2 months is too soon to be moving in together now, plus the fact that he does not pay the bills and puts you down are massive red flags. No couple should argue every night, it's unhealthy and a lot of stress.

I hope you choose to undo your mistake instead of letting your pride get in the way, just remember, these friends who think he's wonderful will all have made their own mistakes in life, you're not the first! x x x

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 9:27pm

When we try to think of a title for our posts.....I know that we try to capture the whole problem in a very short text span.

And when I read what the person is saying in their post...90% of the time I think - this person knows what is wrong if they only look at their own title to their post....6 Months of Unhappy says it all.

Your title is not "Confused and don't know what to do".

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2009
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 12:19pm
IMHO and experience, it's not the fact that
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 7:25pm

I totally agree with Glammygoth. The couple who is truly right for each other can break every new relationship 'rule' there is and still have it work out.

The rules are there only as a tool to help us find the people that aren't compatible with us.