Abuse

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Abuse
1
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 12:27pm

I know that some women on here are not happy about the fact that certain men do not wnt to get married as stated in another thread. The comment that I do not love my girlfriend was used by certain memebers and I have to say that I am seriously astounded by the complete stupididty that some women can display when the topic of getting married comes up. How dare any of you say that I do not love someone when they don't know me!!

For one, I happen to think that marriage is a complete farce and not worth the time and effort in order to tell someone that I love them. Why stand in a Church in front of a man of the cloth when I do not believe in any god or an afterlife?!

Why must all young people be pressganged by older generations into getting married even if it is not what they desire?! For the good of society? NO.

I find it totally laughable and excrutiatingly pathetic to hear someone state that I do not love my girlfriend when I would give up all that I have for her! Just because I do not want to get married, does not instantly mean that I am not in a loving relationship. A relationship, which I will happily say now, that I will not abandon!

To the opponents of such a view, I have a proposition for you to mull over whilst watching 'Loose Women' (if you can make sweeping generalisations then so can I):

If you feel it necessary to judge those around you, stand before all and state loud and clear of all the problems, beliefs, misgivings and 'sins' that you have and have committed and be prepared to hear ill-concieved and downright rude 'judgements' about the afformentionned. Only then can you comment on my rather splendid, exceedingly happy and utterly fulfilling lifestyle....with the girl that I love.

In other words and to quote a rather crass American I know.....'Get a F***ing life!'

--T Jones.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: tejones_ba
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 2:21am

Out of curiousity, would you mind giving me the name of (or a link to) the thread to which you're referring? I think I missed it.

Anyway, just letting you know that you're not alone in your beliefs. My partner and I have been happily defacto for 13 years. We have two kids, a mortgage and a dog. Like you, we're also a athiests and see marriage as a religious ceremony. However, none of this reflects on how my partner and I feel about each other. We are absolutely committed and have a much better relationship than many "married" people that I know. When I post here, I refer to my partner as 'husband' because for all intents and purposes we are married. Just not on paper.

Interestingly enough, I've found older generations to be more tolerant of our choice. It's young people who seem to be more judgemental. Having said all that, after we had baby #2, people stopped asking when we'd marry ;-)

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